


Tithes of War

by chodemelon



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst and Humor, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Spoilers, Guilt, Humor, M/M, Niles makes a lot of dick jokes during war time, Nohr | Conquest Route, War, people are dying Niles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-06-09 10:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6902179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chodemelon/pseuds/chodemelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His tutors in the Northern Fortress had always filled his head with stories of great Nohrian generals and glorious spoils of battle. But after he turned his back on Hoshido and killed one of his countrymen for the first time, he wonders if he is cut out for the filthy business of war. </p><p>And yet, war has a way of bringing together people who may have never liked each other, or even met, otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Made Your Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prefer to post trigger warnings on a chapter by chapter basis, so CW for vomitting, bloody imagery, and negative depictions of panic attacks/anxiety, and mentions of bare chests.
> 
> I really love the design of the Nestrian castle grounds so most of this fic will probably take place in or around it, despite the title, so keep that picture in your head for the setting.
> 
> I'm not sure where I'll ultimately take this, but for now I wanted to use this as an opportunity to kind of pick apart MU's brain a bit, seeing as they are raised on militarism but doesn't cause any death until they're a grown-ass adult. Also I love writing Niles as giving off horrible first impressions.

Mathias did not expect to spend the night dry-heaving off of one of the outer walls of his fortress, but so few things in his life seemed to be going according to plan as of late.

 _‘This may as well fucking happen’_ he thought as a stream of bile dripped from his mouth into water below.

He leaned his head against the cold stone floor and closed his eyes. Although he had hoped that excusing himself from the buzzing activity of the mess hall would allow him some respite from the guilt plaguing his mind, all he could see behind his closed eyes was the first Hoshidan soldier that he sunk his blade into at Fort Dragonfall.

 _His hand on the hilt of Yato sinking further into the abdomen of the woman in white robes and a battle-worn chest piece. The unsullied cloth slowly spreading into a deep crimson as her shocked face contorted in fear and hatred. His fingers trembling as she gripped the head of his blade in futility_.  
Could a blade forged in the image of the Hoshidan royal family turn on its own kin?

 _‘It can in the hands of a traitor’_ he thought as he opened his eyes and stared at his sore palms.

This was not sparring with Xander until the sun was so low in the sky that both brothers could barely make out the exhausted grins on each others' faces, or punches on a small group of usurpers in a rebellious tribe beyond the watchful eye of Castle Krakenburg. This was the choice that he, alone, had made- and it was only going to get more difficult from here on out.  
He could only imagine the pained look of anguish and disappointment in Mikoto's- in his _mother’s_ face for a few seconds before he started vomiting again, rejecting what was left of his dinner into the canal.

Suddenly, he heard noises coming from farther down the rampart halls.

“Heh! I must humbly disagree with you my sneaky comrade!” a booming voice echoed somewhere far behind him. “You think you can completely protect our liege from an ambush from the shadows? It. is. an. ambush! The foul miscreants likely put into consideration their surroundings if they have the audacity to assault our Lord Leo!”

A lower, and far less enthusiastic voice laughed sarcastically in response.  
“Oh please, Odin. If I had a gold piece for every ambush I, myself had been apart of that fell apart because my compatriots had simply neglected to look behind them when they were so focused on their prey, I would be able to retire from this particular line of work and start my own damn noble house.”

Mathias wiped the side of his face but did not look up, hoping the two people would not see their commander at the end of the walkway in such a compromising position.

“Ha! Now there is an image for the Record Hall: ‘Lord Niles of House Might-have-had-a-last-name-at-some-point now approacheth!” The other one replied.

They sounded like Leo’s retainers. He had not talked much to either of them since meeting them in the Ice Tribe Village, but if their reluctance to spare the villagers were any indication, they were not people that would understand Mathias’ current fixation on killing a single soldier. At the very least, he did not want the two observing him sweating anxiously and puking in a corner in the middle of the night.  
He lowered his head again, not feeling well enough yet to sit up completely but aware enough to try and scoot himself further into the corner of the wall, where he hoped he would be out of eyeshot.

Niles’ amused snort bounced off the walls. “Catchy. But my point is that there is little you can do to block blows from Lord Leo in that tight little outfit of yours from the front lines, unless you are relying on these so-called miscreants being spellbound by your rippling pectorals. It would work on me, mind you, but again, I've been a part of a number of failed ambushes in my younger years for far stupider reasons.”

“Little outfit!? This sacred garb was woven of the finest samite under the cold light of a full moon-“

Odin halted his tirade mid-sentence and Mathias heard a pause before a pair of footsteps grew steadily louder behind him.

_Shit._

“Ho there, silhouette of indiscernible yet steadfast ally! Are you feeling entirely well this evening?” Odin called down toward him as he walked in his direction.

Mathias waved a hand over his head dismissively in response and turned away. “I suspect I just had a bit to much to drink at the mess hall, no need to worry,” he called back.

The other, quieter pair of footsteps came closer as the blond man in strange, revealing robes kneeled at Mathias’ bent over frame in concern.

“Odin, if you’re going to play good citizen for the rest of the night, I’m out. I have no stomach for do-goodery at this time of the- _oh my..._ "

Mathias saw another pair of feet in worn leather boots before looking up at Niles, grinning down at him with wicked amusement. The retainer's snowy white hair framed his dark face in wisps, as his singular eye sized the prince up.

“You know, I didn’t know that anyone could hear me when I told Odin, here, the other day, that I’d love to see our princeling on his knees in front of me.” He crossed his arms and lowered his head as close to Mathias’ face as he could get without actually touching him. “I guess I’ll have to gossip a bit quieter next time, hmm?” he said in a low, silky voice that made Mathias’ skin crawl.

“Niles, don’t be such an ass,” Odin grumbled as he elbowed the other man away. “I apologize for failing to recognize you before, milord. I can help you toward the infirmary if you need assistance.”

Odin sounded strangely out of place without his flowery speech patterns, but he had a undeniably soothing presence that seemed almost genetic. Nevertheless, as Xander had often told him, it was unbecoming for a prince to be at the mercy of his troops, regardless of their good intentions. The quicker he could shake the two of them off, the better.

“That’s very kind of you Odin, but I’ll be fine, thank you. Don’t worry about, um, not seeing my face. I’m sure it’s hard to see much of anything at this time of the night,” Mathias said with a shaky voice.

Niles leaned against a column and narrowed his eye, still smiling to himself.

“Are you sure milord? It would be a simple task to assist you in escorting you, I assure you,” Odin urged.

“I have no doubts in your ability to assist me, Odin, but I’m afraid I just had one mead too many after dinner tonight and I’d be a bit embarrassed to go to the apothecary’s tent with a hangover in the dead of night,” Mathias replied, hoping the waver in his voice could be mistaken for simple intoxication, and not the cold sweat of a panic attack.

“Then let us accompany you to your quarters at the very least, milord,” he insisted, and Mathias sighed in defeat. They seemed persistent if nothing else, and he admittedly did not currently want to be alone with his thoughts. Camilla had always told him he was lousy at being aloof.

  
Wordlessly, he lifted his arm and Odin took the gesture, pulling Mathias to his feet and readjusting himself to allow the prince to lean on him as he walked.

Behind them Niles clicked his tongue, following them at a slightly slower pace. “Keeping the prince all to yourself, Odin? That’s awfully selfish of you,” He crossed his arms and shook his head slowly. “What would our Lord Leo say if he saw your hands all over his precious brother?”

Before Odin could respond, Mathias raised his head and set his tired eyes on the other retainer. He liked to think that he normally had a much thicker skin, but at the moment, he did not want to play whatever game the outlaw had in mind.  
“Niles, is it? I thought that you had no time for do-goodery. I’m sure, then, that you have other, far more pressing matters to attend to then escorting blue bloods in the middle of the night.”

Niles raised an eyebrow in mild interest and laughed quietly to himself, “Ah, our princeling has some backbone. Not that I’d be able to tell, the way you’re bent over.”

Odin looked from Niles to Mathias as they walked, torn between shouting at Niles and helping the prince keep his balance.  
“I’m sorry milord, Niles finds the most inappropriate times to flaunt his fixation with the misery of those around him, despite how _poorly_ ,” he said with a glare pointed toward Niles, “it reflects on our Lord Leo when he tries to push his luck.”

Mathias raised a hand weakly. “It’s alright, Odin, I understand, I should have been more direct.” he cleared his throat and stared back at the man sauntering behind them. It appeared to Mathias that if he didn’t provide Niles with his own strange form of entertainment, the outlaw would make some himself, causing Mathias' already horrible night to be dragged on longer than it had to be  
“Niles, I am not in the mood. If you are not here to serve some sort of purpose, _please_  piss off,” he said in a flat tone.

Despite trying to appear as diplomatic as possible, Odin could not stifle a loud snort as Niles’ eye widened and his head raised ever so slightly in shock.  
Mathias hated to be so rude before he knew why the man tended to act that way, but he was thankful that the two retainers stopped looking at him as though he was going to faint at any moment. Just knowing that helped him feel slightly more in control of himself.

Niles recovered quickly, his face sliding quickly back into its resting expression of smug disinterest. Despite this, he still followed the other two, except this time without adding any commentary. It was not unwelcome, but considering that all Mathias knew of his brother’s retainer was that he had an affinity for pushing others’ buttons, it felt uncharacteristic, or at the very least, not permanent.

The three of them walked in relatively awkward silence until Mathias could see the outline of an oak tree beyond the rooftop of the smithy, the night air blowing the smell of cooled iron to his nose. He swallowed and turned his head away from it, breaking the silence to push thoughts of metal piercing skin from his mind.

“Ah, this is it over here Odin, thank you,” Mathias said, and pointed to the treehouse nestled at the edge of one of the castle’s inner canals.

“Do you require any help settling in milord? Your humble companion, Odin Dark, will not rest until all valiant tasks have been executed…valiantly,” he trailed off.

Mathias shook his head as Odin let go of him. “That won’t be necessary, I’m already feeling a bit better,” he paused. “But thank you Odin, if you do not let him know before I do, I will report your good service to Leo.”

Mathias doubted Odin was aware of how visibly giddy he became at a small amount of praise, but despite how amusing it was, the pit in his stomach reminded him that he would be best sending the two off in case he relapsed.

“Good night to you Odin.”

“Fare thee well milord!,” Odin sang with a twinkle in his eye. “May the velvety darkness of night swath you in its fine blankets and whisk you into pleasanter realms than these,”

Mathias opened his mouth to ask Odin to explain what he meant, but thought better of it in his current state, and simply waved.

“Come, Niles. We should leave the good prince to his own pursuits,” Odin said, gesturing his head toward the barracks in a very unsubtle fashion.

Until then, the outlaw had been looking around, either lost in thought or pretending to ignore his companions' conversation.

“Hmm? Oh, I’ll let you get most of your moonlit dancing out of your system before I have to be seen with you again,” Niles said, picking food from between his teeth. Odin looked at the prince and gave Niles a warning look, but decided to drop whatever he was going to say and walked away.

Mathias sighed and looked wearily at the other man.  
“Is there anything else Niles? As I said, I am in not in the best of moods and I do wish to retreat to my quarters.”

“Oh, I wasn’t entirely lying. Whenever he gets a pat on the head or something, Odin prances. A lot. Last time someone complimented his latest battle spell over dinner, he did this ridiculous dance-fighting routine all the way back to the other end of camp. I don’t want whoever is on the night patrol seeing me with _that_ , for the second time this week.”  
He gestured his thumb over his shoulder to distant cries of _‘My aching blood rolls and boils at the utterance of positive feedback!’_

Mathias smiled thinly and made as though he was about to leave. “Well, feel free to stand under here until you feel the distance between ' _that_ ',” he said with air quotes, “and yourself, is sufficient. Now if you would excuse me,” he said, walking past him.

“You had better learn to like the sight of spilling blood very soon, milord,” Niles said behind him.

Mathias turned his head and stared at the one-eyed man.  
“I'm…sorry?”

"That was a pretty nasty skirmish we found ourselves in today, wouldn't you agree?" Niles took a knife out from somewhere in his tall boot and started absentmindedly picking at the bark of the tree trunk with it. “I know the smell of too much liquor on a man’s breath when I put my face that close to his, and you, milord, could stand to drink more tonight, if anything.”

Mathias felt sweat begin to re-form at the back of his neck as he stood up straight, his expression guarded. It didn’t even occur to him that Niles invaded his space earlier to catch him in his white lie, and the fact that Mathias did not figure it out until now made him very nervous.  
“....Thank you for not disclosing this to your fellow retainer, although I am slightly concerned that you do not trust me enough to believe my word.”

Niles shrugged “Don’t take it personally, milord, I don’t trust anyone. Besides, Odin already knows I’m an asshole, what good does it do to call you out in front of him?”

“Can I at least trust you not to spread my…aversion to bloodshed to others in the army?”

“You can, I don’t know why you would though, I’ve done very little to earn that trust.” Niles looked at the prince and saw the panic and humiliation that flashed before his eyes. He laughed. “Relax, kid. I don’t care enough about usurping your authority. Honestly, I think its kind of cute,”

Mathias looked at him in disbelief. “You think its…cute.”

“Sure! You may seem untouchable when you dictate the direction of two armies with a single decision, or when your _princely commands_  briefly lead me to believe that I’m set for the hangman’s noose because I ticked you off, and hey don’t worry about that because I certainly deserve it." Niles shrugged. "But beneath it all, you’re just a pedigree kid with too much power for his own good. Watching you squirm when you have to look at the real consequences for your actions at the other end of a sword? Well, its just downright adorable,” he said with a crooked grin.

Mathias sighed. “Niles, I’m not going to threaten to have you killed for being annoying while I’m feeling sick. I know you don’t trust me, and there is nothing I can do at the moment to change that, but we’re allies, alright?”

“Your leniency does you little credit, Lord Mathias, but it is appreciated." Niles tossed the knife in the air and caught it again, stabbing it against the side of the tree. “No comment on my other accusation then?”

Mathias could feel his panic rising again, the sweat on his back turning cold and clammy. He did not wish for the man to see more of his weakness but he did not know how long he could suppress another wave of anxiety. He clenched a fist behind his back, whitening his knuckles and allowing his nails to dig into the skin of his palm. The sensation would ground him for at least a few more moments.

“No. No comment,” he said between gritted teeth and climbed up the treehouse ladder.

“You dirtied your hands before you even made a choice milord,” Niles called after him. “If I were you I’d accept that now, or this will be a looooong, hard march.”

As Mathias reached the top of the ladder, he saw Niles walk away, chuckling at his own innuendo.

“Sweet dreams,” he chimed over his shoulder, waving his hand.

That night, Mathias dreamed of iron and blood, curdled screams echoing from every direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Niles and Odin are those friends that you're not sure hate each other and are forced to be around each other all the time or just bicker because that's how they communicate in their own weird way. 
> 
> Also Odin had to have been freezing his nips off at the Ice Tribe Village in that outfit of his right?? 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyhoo, thanks for reading!


	2. We Move Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated B for Breakfast. Because that's literally the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for all the positive feedback on the first chapter, I'm kind of new to longer creative writing (at least on AO3) so anything and everything is helpful! (And also just makes me really happy tbqh). 
> 
> As the tags imply, I will likely be adding more relationships or mentions thereof in subsequent chapters, maybe even with MU and his possible previous relationships, but rest assured, the main/final ship is, and will be, Niles/MU throughout the fic. Just a heads-up!
> 
> Only content warnings I can think of is food mentions throughout but if there's something anyone feels like I missed please don't hesitate to let me know and I'll fix it!

The next morning Mathias' mouth was dry and his stomach was aggressively growling. He slid out of bed and dragged himself to the mirror on the other side of his bedroom as his normally neat, tapered hair fell in teal locks in front of his face. His sharp red eyes looked back at him, tired and sallow and the old scar across the bridge of his nose felt puckered and numb as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, feeling the stray threads of last night's nightmares itching at the back of his mind.

Almost exactly on queue, he heard a familiar knock at his door, and Felicia, his chambermaid, bounced through balancing a tray of biscuits and tea.

"Good morning milord! I'm glad to see you're already awake! Also- I'm happy to report that the wheat field Miss Lilith planted in this castle turns over a fresh crop almost every morning-"

"Felicia, its good to see you but are you sure you don't need any help with that tray? It looks a bit heavy," Mathias interrupted. He saw a very familiar scene about to unfold in front of him, and with luck he was hoping he could snap the girl out of her train of thought before she embarrassed herself, without seeming too rude.

"-Which is great! We can make fresh bread every morning, I know you and Lady Elise were worried about having enough food rations to last us through Notre- _uhh woah_!"

Sure enough, Felicia bumped into the side of Mathias' armoire with enough force to rattle the mirror, and she lost her footing. The tray flipped, sending its contents into the air, and Mathias tried unsuccessfully to save yet another tea kettle. It slipped from his grasp and joined the biscuits and other plates on the floor with a loud shattering noise.

Without missing a beat, Mathias started picking up the pieces. He knew from experience that the poor maid would start spilling out a string of self-deprecating apologies soon, and getting started on cleaning the mess would save the both of them a good deal of grief and time.

Felicia had always been ridiculously clumsy, but ever since their last encounter with her sister Flora at the Ice Tribe, her mind seemed to drift more than usual, resulting in a severe decrease in the astral castle's supply of spare dishes in the last few weeks. When Mathias had asked her about it the night they left her village, she had simply rambled on about how relieved she was that they were able to reach a peaceful solution.

"I don't want to imagine a reality where I wouldn't be able to see Flora again," she had said so decisively. "I hesitate to think what would happen if she and Father had taken their betrayal too far."

There was a flash of doubt in her eyes as she said the word "betrayal" and Mathias distinctly remembered that she had appeared to be about to say something else before she had left him that night. Mathias had become very close with Felicia, so seeing her hold her tongue like that almost made him think that she was less afraid of telling Mathias what was on her mind than she was of hearing her own thoughts out loud.

Flora had implied that the nature of their service to him in the Northern Fortress was not what it appeared. Both he Felicia and had been too fearful to unpack up the meaning behind her words when she had stood across the two of them on that frozen lake with anger and regret contorting her gentle face, and her knuckles whitening around a pair of steel daggers.

Mathias cared deeply for the two sisters, particularly Felicia- both had rarely left his side since he could remember being in Nohr and he never truly felt alone while they were there; whether they were chiding him for sleeping in late, or sitting at his bedroom window letting him talk their ears off as one or the other mended a ripped sleeve or a loose button.

He shuddered to think of any reasons why the two of them would serve him aside from simply wanting to become maids for the royal family. Had the Ice Tribe sent them to his father, Garon, against their will? Had they been kidnapped? Flora had alluded as much, and yet Felicia seemed just as surprised as Mathias was to hear her words. Perhaps Flora had wanted it that way, but there was little he could do to ask her while he was moving his small group of forces to Notre Sagesse.

Yet another question that the brash trail of that his father's war had left behind in the dust, unanswered.

' _That's unfair,' he thought to himself. 'I never had a chance to hear the whole story from Father- I shouldn't jump to conclusions without having a chance to hear what he has to say_.'

Mathias decided to break his train of thought when he noticed that Felicia had started pathetically crawling toward her preferred corner of Mathias' bedroom. He sighed wearily and put a hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon, Felicia. It's not that bad. It's pretty much all cleaned up already- that's way faster than yesterday's right?"

She turned her head and made a long, quiet groaning noise, her ears beet red against the soft pink color of her bangs.

"Felicia, seriously, its no trouble, I was actually meaning to eat at the mess hall from now on, my apologies- I should have told you earlier,"

He had meant to be consoling, but as Felicia started groaning louder returning the slow trek to her preferred self-pity corner, he realized that his words could be taken to mean that he no longer had faith in her serving abilities, which if he was being honest with himself, was not far from the truth.

"It's not what you think!" he said, laughing nervously, "I just thought it was about time that I acquaint myself with our army better instead of holing myself up in this treehouse,"

"Army" was a fairly liberal description of the small band of retainers and outcasts that Mathias had gathered with his sister, Elise, thus far, but they certainly deserved the respect of a full-fledged force from what he had been able to observe in such a short time.

  
They were an…eccentric bunch to say the least, but Mathias had decided after his run-in last night with that flamboyant mage and his sharp-tongued companion that it was likely best for him to get to know his company on a more equal level so they didn't jump to their own conclusions about his qualifications as a commander.  
It was unclear whether the one-eyed man was voicing the unspoken opinions of his fellow soldiers or just making his distrust of Mathias' methods known to scare him, but Mathias suspected that he had hard, dirty work ahead of him, and he didn't think he would be equipped to deal with the risk of low morale and distrust among his comrades. At this point, he needed all the support he could get.

It appeared he would have to start with his friend currently in fetal position with her back to him. Fortunately, he had known Felicia long enough to know that he could often break her of one of her "states" simply by changing the subject.

"Say, its pretty early- have you even managed to eat yet?" he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

She blinked a few times and frowned.

"No, milord- I usually eat when I'm done serving you," she lowered her head again and started hitting it slowly against the wall.

"At least when I'm _supposed_ to be done serving you,"

"Gods, Felicia, no wonder you can't focus in the mornings, come with me to the mess hall- if it's being useful you're worried about, you'll be far more helpful to me by spending more time with the others to than you would be by melding with the carpet in my room."

She sighed loudly and wiped her nose on her apron, straightening out her dress and checking the insides of her sleeves for the concealed knives she kept at either arm. Felicia was fairly ditzy with regards to housework, but as long as he had known her, the woman had never gone anywhere with him without being fully equipped to strike down anyone who she thought might cause him harm.

"Unless you plan on wrestling with the tea sets they have in the mess hall as well, Felicia, I doubt you'll need those to eat breakfast," he teased her as they walked to the door.

She rolled her eyes and slipped the knife into her palm, deftly flipping it so that the hilt pointed out. Before he could try and grab it, she bonked his forehead with the pommel and concealed it again, smiling sweetly.

"Hey, _ow_! I'm just saying."

"Let me have my knives, or let me have my dignity milord, you can't have both," she rebuked as she opened the treehouse door and started climbing down the ladder.

He knew that this old argument was a losing battle, so he dropped the issue and went down after her.

When they arrived at the mess hall, Mathias was surprised to find that his younger sister, Princess Elise, was sandwiched comfortably between her two burly retainers, Arthur and Effie, at the most crowded table in the room. Somehow he expected that the rest of his siblings would likely have their own routines in the morning. Then again, Elise never seemed to have it in her to learn how to be standoffish like a proper royal. It was one of the things he really liked about spending time with her.

As soon as she looked up and caught his eye, she started waving to him furiously and pointing animatedly to a spot across from her.

He smiled warmly and waved a hand back in recognition as he made his way toward the cook's counter- gesturing at Felicia to secure them a spot near the young Nohrian princess while he fetched a couple of plates. He peered over the bar and heard the clanking of dishes in a washbasin, hoping whomever was still on kitchen duty would be accommodating enough to bring him some food despite his late arrival.

"Good morning!" He called down to the open door. "Two plates of breakfast please, and a pot of tea if there's any still hot back there."

"You're late," a male voice grumbled back from the kitchen.

Mathias waited awkwardly at the counter and drummed his fingers on the wood as he heard rustling- not quite sure if it meant that he was supposed to wait there with his tail between his legs or give up and seek food elsewhere.

"You're lucky I haven't had to do a meal shift in awhile or I wouldn't be feeling so godsdamned charitable," said none other than Niles as he walked out of the kitchen door with two plates of biscuits soaked in gravy. Mild surprise flashed across his eye for a moment as he looked up to see the prince leaning on the other side of the counter.

In place of his usual adventuring gear, Niles was wearing a dirty apron with a thin strip of worn leather holding back as much of his messy white hair that it could manage. On any other person, the look would be quite commonplace, but given the nature of Mathias' only other encounter with the rogue, his rather domestic appearance was kind of amusing to see, almost cute, and put Mathias a bit more at ease than he would have been otherwise speaking with the callous man.

"Yeah, sorry I know I'm a bit tardy, I had some cleaning to do," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well better late than never, I suppose, milord," he responded with an eye roll as he put the plates down. "And I must say I am so very glad to see you feeling well this morning. Wanted to grace us all with your fresh-eyed face or did your maid finally destroy what was left of your private breakfast stock?" he asked with a patronizing grin.

Mathias laughed nervously and changed the subject, pointing to the biscuits.

"That gravy smells really good, did you make that yourself?"

Niles wiped his hands on the apron.

"Little trick we street rats do to get the last bit of meat out of bones and table scraps. Not much else to it but some flour, which the one thing we seem to have in abundance as of late," Niles said, looking up at the prince as he slid the plates down the table to Mathias' position.

"Thank you, Niles. Though I don't suppose there's any extra meat back there is there?"

He gave the prince the most deadpan look that having one eye would allow him and crossed his muscular, exposed arms, showing the splashes of water and food at the corners of his rolled up sleeves.

"Nope."

"Nothing hot to drink, perhaps?"

"I regret to inform you that you are shit out of luck, _milord_ ," he said and scratched the inside of one of his ears with a free pinky finger. "Though if its sausage you want I still got one left that's nice and hot," he added with a sneer.

"Ha ha, gross. I'll pass for now," Mathias dismissed, but paused before leaving the counter. "I'll uh- make sure that we stock up properly in the next town. Let me know if there's anything in particular that you think is required."

Niles shrugged. "Don't look at me like I know what the rest of these yahoos need, I'd ask someone who looks like they care about teamwork, or whatever, what they think is necessary. Though from the looks of the convoy lately, we can't afford to be picky."

"Er, noted. Well, I'll clean my plate if Felicia and I aren't finished by the time you're done back there,"

Niles turned and headed back into the kitchen, nonchalantly waving a hand in acknowledgement over his shoulder.

Mathias slid into an open space between Felicia, who was chatting amicably with Arthur and Silas, who grinned and waved as he put the plates down. Felicia immediately stopped talking and practically inhaled her food, despite her earlier insistence that she didn't need to eat until later. Mathias chuckled quietly to himself and started on his own plate.

"Gods Felicia, you're going to choke yourself, would you please slow down?" Silas said in concern.

Effie slammed a fist on the wooden table and a few splinters flew loose. Everyone else at the table jumped in surprise.

"Let the girl eat!" she boomed. "We've got a long day of marching ahead- she'll need lots of carbs in order to be properly prepared."

Effie gave Felicia two thumbs up and Felicia looked back at her with her cheeks stuffed with food, reciprocating the gesture before she dug voraciously back into her meal.

When everyone around the mess hall realized the clamor was just Effie placing her hands on furniture again, the low hum of conversation returned, and Mathias looked over to Elise.

"Do you always eat here in the morning? I would have thought that you could get service to your quarters if you needed."

Her long pigtails flopped at her sides as she shook her head, and she swallowed a mouthful of biscuit.

"Naw, that's super boring. I'd rather be here so I can talk to everyone, y'know? Besides, Effie kept having to go back and forth from the mess hall anyway to get herself more helpings the first few days, so we just decided it'd be easier to eat here!"

Elise and Mathias were similar in their need to be around people often, and it occurred to him that if his own retainers weren't so devoted to their jobs as servers, he would have likely come to the same conclusion as his little sister much, much sooner. As it were, Felicia, Flora, and Jakob had always tried to get him as much personal service before the day started as possible, leaving him little real need to speak to anyone else in the morning.  
Perhaps relying solely on Felicia's ineptitude at the moment was a blessing in disguise, as he was embarrassed to admit to himself that the thought of taking time out of his morning routine to join his troops would not have occurred to him otherwise.

Elise lowered her gaze and put down her fork momentarily while Effie and Arthur were otherwise distracted by other conversations,

"Say, you're doing alright, right big brother?" she said, her large, violet eyes poorly hiding their concern.

Mathias gripped his fork a little tighter and felt his hands become clammy. Had Elise somehow learned about his episode the night before? It didn't appear that Leo's retainers had disclosed anything, but he had no real way of knowing. For now he decided that the best thing to do was just to play dumb.

"Of course I am Elise. I'm a little tired, but so is everyone- why do you ask?"

She furrowed her brow, as if she didn't herself know why she was asking. Perhaps she didn't know after all.

"I don't know it's just…you've just been looking paler and more anxious since you came back to us, like the world could come crashing down on you at any moment. I noticed that Azura wears a similar expression sometimes when she thinks that I'm not looking."

She quickly backtracked.

"Not that you look sick or anything or that I'm not glad to have you back but…" she reached across the table and placed her small hands over his own. They looked delicate, but her palms were much tougher than Mathias remembered, with faint traces of small scars circling around her fingertips. As if she had spent much of her time gripping the hilt of a staff in fear, or hurriedly patching up grisly wounds in the heat of battle.

"You'll let me know if anything is wrong, right? If there's anything you feel like you have to shoulder alone?"

Mathias felt a lump gather in his throat and quickly swallowed it. As far as he was concerned when she would visit him every month or so in the Northern Fortress, Elise was even more sheltered than he was, and her innocence is what fueled her upbeat personality, but how long had she been put on the front lines without him realizing? How many times had she seen a battle turn a fresh-faced soldier into a hardened creature of fear and instinct as her healing staff kept them from the edge of death time and time again when she was barely old enough to be wandering off on her own? Did she feel like she was going to see the same thing happen to her own brother? Had she already seen it happen to their other siblings?

It made him realize how worthy of respect his younger sister was, and yet it made him feel all the more determined to keep as much from her as possible. The last thing he wanted was to make her worry that the elders in her family would need to be something she needed to look after, especially without Camilla there to braid her hair and whisper sweet nothings to her after long, harsh days and short nights of respite. Mathias did not think he could be that rock for her and also disclose his increasing doubts regarding the morality of their Father's choices.

He placed his hands over hers and squeezed lightly, allowing himself a melancholic smile for a moment before nodding. "I'm fine, Elise, really. But thank you. There's just been…a lot to take in lately is all."

She nodded back knowingly and wrapped up the uneaten half of her biscuit in one of her trademark lacy cloth handkerchiefs.

"If you see Azura on your way back to your quarters, could you give her this?" Elise asked. "She was in the mess hall when I got here and left before most other people arrived. I think she's still a little overwhelmed by all the people here in the mornings,"

"Why don't you give it to her yourself? I'm sure she'd love to know her new sister was thinking of her wellbeing," Mathias responded.

"Would if I could," she said with an exaggerated shake of her head. "Effie keeps insisting that I do stamina training so I stop whining about my feet hurting while we march." She squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest.

" _'Lady Elise. Although I am always honored to carry you over whatever distance you desire, and it is no trouble for me, you need to be strong in both body and mind. I must insist for your own good that you accompany me for my post-post morning routine at the very least,'_ " she said in a deep, gruff voice that made for an impressively accurate Effie impression.

Mathias laughed and put the wrapped biscuit in the folds of his tunic for safekeeping. He peered into the kitchen, and upon seeing it empty, took both his and Felicia's plates before the maid could try to wash them herself. He said his goodbyes to those still at the table and hopped over the counter, cleaning the remaining dishes before leaving the mess hall through the back kitchen door.

The sun was just starting to fully form over the astral horizon, and the canals glittered brightly with the reflection of the dawn's light. It was so much of a contrast to the windy, cloudy weather constantly swirling around the Northern Fortress, that he suspected that he'd never get used to the feeling of sunlight warming his skin every morning.

His mind flashed to the placidity of the empty stalls in the Hoshidan capital plaza before the majority of its citizens stocked their wares for the day, the cool golden light barely touching the tops of pagoda roofs and edges of grandiose statues. He wondered if his memories of the capital were tiny slivers of his lost childhood, or the few remnants that he could piece together before the explosion not weeks before.

Suddenly he heard someone muttering to themselves behind the building, and Mathias turned to see Odin talking to his outstretched hand with a very concentrated look on his face. He tried not to disturb him, but a stick on the ground gave him away as he walked near the mage and Odin yelped in surprise.

"L-lord Mathias? Uh- er, jubilation! It is a pleasure- nay an HONOR to see you in such good health this morning! You uh…you weren't standing there long were you?" he said scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

Mathias laughed amiably and shook his head. "Thank you Odin, its good to see you too, and no I was just passing through. Sorry to bother you."

"It is no bother, my lord, it fills my dark heart with renewed purpose to see you so ready to lead our fine troops through the fiery pits of fell and back,"

"Just a march to Port Dia today to get some supplies and board a ferry to Notre Sagesse Odin, hopefully no fell will be involved."

"Hmm indeed," Odin said, scratching his chin. "I only pray that the low hum of my aching blood does not draw out the demons of war on our peaceful procession on this fine day. They do find the temptation of tainting the trail of good intentions so hard to resist."

"Sorry, what?"

"Uh, I hope we don't run into trouble on such a nice day."

Mathias hummed in agreement and then remembered the reason he left the kitchen in the first place.

"Say, you didn't happen to see Azura while you were back here, did you?"

"Azura…... _Azura_..…Ah!" The mage snapped his fingers. "You speak of that enchanting mistress of few words and many melodies who's presence floats like a drifting specter in and out of the peripheral of all who acknowledge her?"

"Yes, that's the one." For once, Mathias found that he understood at least three-fourths of Odin's sentence, and he was fairly proud of himself for it.

"If only I possessed a fraction of her ethereal mystique," Odin mumbled to himself as he crossed his arms, and turned to Mathias. "I do believe that she was heading toward the water's edge last I caught sight of her, over yonder," he said and raised a pointed finger slowly to his left so that the flaps of his cape flitted dramatically in the morning breeze. Mathias stifled a giggle and started walking in that direction.

"Wait, Lord Mathias!" Odin called behind him and hesitated for a moment as if he was trying figure out how to say something.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Last night after I left, you…did you make it back alright? That is to say, uh, Niles didn't bother you at all did he? He can be a bit off-putting sometimes, particularly around those he doesn't know, but you are Lord Leo's brother and I do hope he treated you with the respect you deserve, or better yet, just left you alone while you were feeling ill. I want to make sure that we are representing our Lord properly, you know?" Odin said, shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

Mathias thought for a second before responding to Odin's concern. Should he say that the rogue gave him something of an undeserved tongue-lashing? Would it be better to deflect the question and say that Niles was an absolute peach every time he talked to him? He doubted anyone who knew Niles, particularly Odin, would believe that.

But for some reason that he couldn't put his finger on, Mathias felt like either writing the outlaw off or ratting him out would mean that he lost. But what? His ego? His need to be liked by the others? Whatever ounce of respect Niles gave him? His small chance at becoming friends with the prickly retainer? He wasn't even sure he wanted the latter based on the way Niles seemed to view him, but Mathias was stubborn with regards to people, and refused to give up just yet.

"No, Niles didn't bother me too much. I'll admit, he may not be the friendliest person in the army, but if my brother trusts him then so do I," he finally said, and he meant it. Though the man in question would probably be disgusted to hear that- he seemed to make a sport of keeping most others around him at arm's length. Nevertheless, he had appeared to have kept his word thus far, and had not disclosed any gossip regarding the real reason behind his state of panic the night prior, making him a steadfast, if not reluctant ally in Mathias' eyes.

Odin look relieved and waved his goodbye before returning to what sounded like his previous monologue.

Sure enough, Mathias found Azura sitting at the docks with her feet dangling in the water, humming a melancholic tune to herself. He wordlessly sat next to her and riffled for the piece of food stashed in his tunic, placing it next to her white dress, which fanned out on the ground around her like rippling waves. He joined her in allowing his gaze to fix itself in front of him, looking at nothing in particular but the sun slowly rising farther above the edge of the far mountains. After a minute or two she picked up the kerchief and unwrapped the biscuit. The corners of her mouth turned slightly upward as she ran her thumb over the embroidered " _E_ " on the top corner of the fabric, and she took a small bite of the food.

"Elise wanted to make sure her new big sister is getting enough to eat in the mornings," Mathias stated. Azura wasn't one for unnecessary words, but Mathias often found that he could't help himself in most conversations. Despite the fact that she rarely replied when he did so, he could tell that she didn't mind. It was refreshing, really, making such swift friends with someone so sparing with their words.

After she finished, she shook out the crumbs from the kerchief and folded it neatly away in her dress, presumably to return to Elise at some later time.

"You're tired," she said without looking at him.

He ran a hand through his hair and put his arms in his lap.

"That obvious, huh? I was going for that perky warlord look today, clearly I missed the mark."

She laughed dryly and leaned back, looking briefly up and down at the side of Mathias' face.

"The longer these days are going on...the farther we go, the more I'm doubting if what we're doing here is really going to save lives," he continued, picking at a bit of loose skin on his thumbnail.

"You have every right to doubt that, Mathias. I don't know if this was the right decision either-"

"Wow, thanks Azura. Good pep talk," he interrupted.

She sighed exasperatedly and turned back to look at the ocean. "Let me finish. You chose a path. I do not know if it was the right one, you don't know, but all we can hope is that moving forward down this road will teach us something that the other path may not have-"

"-with as few people as possible caught in the crossfire, right?"

She nodded. "Exactly. We could likely be having the exact same conversation had you chosen to remain with Hoshido. The only consolation I can give you right now is the knowledge that we do not have all the answers yet, and all we have the power to do now is to keep moving forward until we know the safest way to the end of the road."

"That is the most depressing yet satisfying advice you've given me yet Azura, I'm kind of impressed."

"I try," she said, tilting her head so that Mathias could see a small smile lingering on her lips.

"Lets just hope the answers we find are right ones, not just the ones that will validate our choices," he responded.

"One can hope."

With that, a loud horn rang throughout the castle grounds, signifying the time to start the day's march was approaching.

"Well," Mathias said, standing and brushing himself off. "Duty calls."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find Felicia and Flora both to be really interesting (and cute) characters, I wish there was a DLC or something that gave us their early life between being Ice Tribe kids and serving Nohrian royals. Also I headcanon that Effie is always trying to get every woman in the army super swole. 
> 
> Next few chapters will be up much sooner than this one was, sorry for the delay! I've been crazy busy but things are dying down now and I'll have plenty more time to write in my spare time.


	3. A Difficult Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This essentially takes place within Chapter 10 of Conquest so obviously huge spoilers for that. 
> 
> CW in this chapter are for: Graphic depictions of violence, animal death, blood, swearing, use of misogynistic slurs, a lot of shouting, and a boner joke. (again- feel free to let me know if you need me to add more warnings at the beginning/if you feel like I missed anything!)
> 
> fun fact of the day: Martello towers are a type of small fort that started being built along the coasts of the British empire against the Napoleonic invasion in the early 19th century. I don't think the towers you can utilize for attacking with artillery and fire magic in a lot of the maps in Fates are based on these, but they are the closest thing that served a similar purpose in costal battles irl. At least they would have, but of the 150 or so built in Ireland and England none were ever needed for their original pupose, as the French army never invaded the English or Irish coast during that time.

“Do you really think that we’ll be able to keep that many cases of berries fresh until we finish at Notre Sagesse?”  
Silas put his writing charcoal up to his lips and furrowed his brow.

Mathias looked at his friend and scratched his chin. “Hmm that’s a good point, I didn’t think of that. Oh- maybe I could ask Felicia to do that thing with her ice powers and put them in the cellars. That could work right?"

“I should hope so. In that case, I’ll note a butcher’s request too. No offense to Lilith and her wheat field, Mathias, but I need meat, and I doubt I’m the only one.”

Mathias hummed in agreement and penciled in a note in the margins of the paper.

The two men were sitting on the back of a partially empty supply wagon with a roll of parchment spread over both their laps as the horses at the helm paid them no mind and continued grazing. Others in the army chatted amongst themselves, most of them more than happy for a chance to rest their feet and mingle before they had to proceed through the sleepy port town in an orderly fashion. The midday light from the sun was harsh on the fully-armored troops, but occasionally a crisp sea breeze would reach the outskirts of the town, preventing anyone from outwardly complaining.

Silas tapped the parchment with his stick of charcoal. “What about oil, do we need oil?"

“Shit, Silas, I don’t know. What exactly do people use oil for in the first place? Squeaky wheels? Nude wrestling? Cooking?”

Silas shrugged noncommittally. “I don’t know either, I’m no quartermaster- I just know that when I was in the training, my captain would always natter on about how if we couldn’t manage our stocks enough to account for backup ammo and oil, we wouldn’t last two weeks marching."

“I guess add two or three units to the request, but I’m not exactly made of bullions here," Mathias grumbled. "Father provided me with barely enough to get through the mission. Just make sure we’re restocked on salves and bandages for now, and prioritize the food. I have no idea how Lilith is able to summon some amenities to the astral plane and not others, but maybe there’s a way that we can get more stock within the castle after we’re done here."

Silas nodded as he rolled up the parchment, stowing it in his satchel. “I’ll take this to the marketplace myself if you need some more rest, I don’t think it will take me long."

Mathias shook his head and hopped to his feet. “Thank you Silas, but I’m ready to keep going. We should get as much done as we can before Felicia comes back with news of the ferry.”

Silas was about to insist that his friend stay for as long as he could, but he was distracted by a distant shout aimed in their direction.

Both men scanned the horizon looking for the source of the noise, and it repeated itself, closer. Silas looked in the direction of the docks, shielding his eyes from the glare of the midday sun to make out a familiar silhouette.

“Oh speaking of, sounds like Felicia’s back already with news of the Notre Sagesse ferry- that was fast,” he said with mild surprise.

When Silas saw how fast Felicia was running toward them, however, his brow furrowed in concern. She looked unharmed but disheveled, her pair of silver knives resting at her fingertips.

“Gods, Felicia, what’s wrong?” Mathias asked her as soon as she was close enough. A few members of the army behind him turned their heads in interest.

“We’ve got trouble, Lord Mathias. Hoshidan warships. Three of them,” she said between labored breaths as she set her hands on her knees.

Mathias’ stomach lurched into his throat and his hands started shaking slightly at his sides, but he controlled himself and nodded apprehensively for her to finish. She looked up at him.

“We have ten minutes at the most before they arrive in the docks. I tried getting the captain of the guard to prevent them from landing but she wouldn’t listen to me,” her hands clenched around the fabric of her tights. “She said that she wasn’t going to risk her mens’ lives trying to defend against a force that size. They will not fight with us and there must be...a hundred troops on those ships!”

Mathias heard Elise gasp behind him, attracting the full attention of every person in the small war party. Everyone instinctively turned to Mathias as he processed the meaning of Felicia’s report.

Mathias swallowed hard. So soon after the skirmish at Dragonfall, he was cornered yet again. When he looked up from his side, he saw determined faces- some anxious- others eager to spill blood, but all of them looked to him expectantly.

‘ _Three freaking warships_ ,’ He muttered under his breath.

Mathias knew that if he turned back, he could save the lives of many of his comrades, and prevent the townspeople from being caught in the crossfire, but he would be executed by his father for deserting as soon as he stepped foot into Windmire. If he stayed, on the other hand, he could try and prevent the valuable Port from becoming Hoshidan-held territory.

The Nohrian countryside had already been stripped bare by the demands the imperial military had placed on farms within their borders. Mathias did not claim to know much of the logistics of production, but if the cold, harsh climate of the Northern Fortress was any indicator, there was no way that the massive country could be sustained off of the sparse amount of farmable land without constant help from steady trade.

‘ _If you truly want to help them, if you want your choice to matter, you must face what you turned your back on and fight- regardless of the consequences,_ ' he convinced himself.

He then breathed deeply, slowly drawing Yato from its scabbard.

‘ _Alright, you can do this._ '

“I look before me,” he shouted in a clear voice, and all eyes turned to him. “And I see men and women that spit in the face of danger. I see brave, headstrong fighters who ignore the odds that have stacked against them time and time again because failure is a greater insult to them and to their liege then death itself, and because they know that they are the best that Nohr has to offer. That odds mean nothing to warriors who can, and have defeated them time and time again."

Any whispering among the group subsided and they all waited in silence for him to continue.

“I will not pretend that this path that you have followed me down is an easy one, I respect you all too much to lie to you about the reality of the situation. There are currently three Hoshidan warships minutes away from our location, and dozens of fully armed soldiers waiting to strike a heavy blow to one of Nohr’s major merchant port towns.  
These Hoshidans have informed the city guard that Dia will not be harmed if they submit peacefully. I respect this approach, but make no mistake- this is Nohrian soil, and any threat to it is to be taken seriously. I ask sincerely then that all of you protect what is rightfully ours in whatever way you can, without killing anyone who steps off that boat,"

“You’re fucking kidding, aren’t you?” a high voice said from the back of the group. Mathias looked and saw the top of Nyx’s head, the small mage scowling in disbelief. Audible murmurs of agreement waved through the crowd as she crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation.

“Look, I know that it’s a lot to ask of you all. There is a lot at stake here and we are heavily outnumbered. That being said, if we prove to the Hoshidan forces that Nohr is worthy not simply of fear, but of respect, then perhaps we can stop the risk of further troops from invading and start the first step in ending this war. We are paragons first and defenders second. That is why Elise and myself are calling the shots on these missions, as envoys for progress both in and out of Nohrian borders. I believe this is the swiftest and most effective way toward peace between our two nations."

“ _Foolish_ ,” Nyx muttered under hear breath before continuing. “Surely you recall that Nohr invaded Hoshido first, regardless of whether it was for the betterment of both or not? I don’t care for politics, but I have to question the naiveté of you judgement, regardless of your presence in the royal family. Do you really think Hoshido will take any gesture from you as anything but an insult at this point? You are not old enough to know when and how this all started- how can you be so sure of yourself?"

Mathias knew that she was right to some extent, but he had very little time to prepare of the invasion, and the clock was steadily ticking. He suspected that he couldn’t truly keep his troops from killing anyone, and he could hardly tell them that his reasons for wanting to keep the troops alive were at least partially his own selfish desire to avoid seeing death so soon again.

That was to say nothing of the risk that civilians who could possibly get caught in the crossfire. If word spread that they could have avoided innocent blood being spilled had they simply stepped aside and allowed the Hoshidans to pass, there would surely be riots throughout Nohr and Cheve much worse than their small scuffle in the Ice Tribe.

King Garon was not known for his forgiveness toward civil dissenters.

“No, you’re right. I wasn’t. But maybe I can be there when it ends,” he declared. It was a poor answer, but he had made up his mind. Bickering with his army was only wasting precious time at this point.

“Everyone! Take what you need and hide the wagons out of sight.”

He pointed his sword at the mages standing at the back of the group. "Odin- you and Nyx need to reach the docks and activate the defensive fire magics installed in the orbs at the top of the Martello towers there. Please remain safely inside to await further orders, I will eventually meet you there with Azura to help keep them secure. Look for me to give the signal from the end of the pier. After that, fire at your discretion."

“Understood milord! We shall roast them in a gout of fiery fell-flame! Er.. gently of course,” Odin yelled and ran off toward the docks.  
Nyx inhaled and raised a hand, as if she was about to object, but pursed her thin lips under the sheer veil covering her face and followed behind Odin.

Mathias turned to Elise's retainers. "Arthur, Effie- you will cover Azura and myself to the rear as we near the docks. I need you to be ready to defend, should the Hoshidans fire first. Elise will follow several paces behind you, to put you both at ease, but to allow her to heal anyone if needed."

Elise saluted her brother cheerfully and took a handful of staves and poultices for her horse’s saddlebag before Mozu started wheeling away the cart. Arthur and Effie nodded their head in unison as they readied their weapons, ready to spring into action.

“Silas after you’re done stocking and stowing away the equipment, you and Mozu should take your horse through the town to ensure that all civilians are out of the way of any possible altercations. After that, meet up with Felicia and Niles and do what they tell you."

“Right! Mozu- please let me help you with that cart!” Silas shouted and chased after Mozu- the lanky, yet deceptively strong farm girl lifting the wagon effortlessly as she waited for the others to get whatever supplies they needed from the back of the cart.

“Which brings me to you two,"

Felicia ran up to Mathias and stood at full attention. Upon hearing his name, Niles finished stringing his bow from under a tree and sauntered over to Felicia’s position.

“Oooh, special assignment? I’m all yours, milord,” he said, grinning like a madman and elbowing Felicia playfully in the side. She shot him a scornful look and returned her attention toward the prince.

“I need you two to go into the town and split up, scouting out as many effective choke points as you can before meeting with Silas and Mozu. Mark the ones farther away so that one of us can recognize it should we need to fall back. Mozu and Silas will guard the most important choke point you scope out, so you should find a place near one of the choke points to keep to the shadows and strike anyone coming through from a ranged position. Any questions?"

Niles raised his hand, “Yes, milord, I have one. Could you say 'choke point' one more time but in a lower voice? I’m already at half mast and-"

“MOVE OUT!” Mathias shouted, interrupting the retainer as Felicia elbowed Niles back violently in the ribs. He coughed, covering his laugh, but dutifully darted off- silent as a cat on the prowl. Felicia followed after him, shouting any expletives at him that she knew, which admittedly, were not many. Mathias rolled his eyes and looked back at the town.

An unsettling quiet fell around Mathias as the two left earshot, a southward wind gently blowing the stray hairs back from his face. From where he was, Mathias could not yet see the Hoshidan ships on the sea’s horizon and for a brief moment, he could pretend that the quiet surrounding the port town was placidity- not anticipation.

  
A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, and he turned to see a resolved expression on Azura’s face, broken only by a hard concern reflected in her golden eyes. He didn’t bother smiling at Azura- by now he knew that she was far too perceptive to believe any facade he could muster.

“Are you afraid?” Mathias asked quietly.

She opened her mouth once or twice, but was unable to find something to say.

“I am. Anankos willing I did not just send these people to the slaughter today,”

Azura flinched at the mention of the Divine Dragon, but Mathias did not seem to notice. He was looking back at Arthur and Effie meticulously assisting Elise with equipping her battle armor. Elise briefly made eye contact with her brother and gave him a thumbs up. He reciprocated, but his face noticeably darkened as soon as he turned far enough back to an angle out of his sister's eyeshot.

“With luck, the ships will be occupied with nothing but foot soldiers, which may give us a fighting chance. I’m not as afraid for our lives but…"

She hesitated before continuing.

“I am afraid of who we may see leading the troops."

Mathias nodded grimly, strangely comforted by the thought that Azura could be as scared to fight as he was, if not for her own reasons.

“Milord!” Effie shouted behind him. Both of them startled slightly at the break in silence that had fallen between them.

“Yes, Effie, what is your report?” Mathias said with confidence, pushing away any residual apprehension left in his voice.

“Silas and Mozu have finished stowing away our supplies, and Lady Elise, Arthur, and myself are prepared to follow you at your command."

“Thank you Effie, let us be off then."

A flock of sea gulls passed overhead, flying away from the docks. Mathias sighed quietly and started leading the five of them in the direction the birds fled from, preparing himself for the worst.

* * *

Mathias stood the middle of the town square as the shapes on the water grew larger and larger. Arthur and Effie stood on either side of Azura and himself, both of them crouched and ready to attack, as Elise steadied her horse behind them, its hooves clicking nervously on the cobblestone.

He held up a hand behind him as the first, and largest ship pulled into the central dock. Hee could not see who was at the helm, but he could hear the shuffle of soldiers from his position, and kept his hand raised to catch the attention of whoever was at the helm of the ship.

“Honorable people of Hoshido!” he called to the ship. “You are about to step onto Nohrian land. If you do not wish to face the consequences of intruding unannounced, then I will give you my word as a royal prince of Nohr that you will be allowed to turn back completely unharmed. If you do not heed my warning, we will have no choice but to prevent you from proceeding any further."

The last of his words echoed on the walls of the shuttered-up seaside buildings and heavy silence once again fell upon the square. At his side, Azura tightened her grip on her spear in hesitation and looked to either side of her as the other two ships pulled into the pier. They creaked to a halt, making no further movement.

Suddenly, he ducked out of the way as an arrow of piercing light narrowly missed his head, leaving a tiny cut on the edge of his pointed ear.

“FIRE AT WILL!” Mathias screamed with the Yato pointed forward, barely collected enough to give his signal. Beefore he could lower his sword, a flurry of fireballs whirred above his head from the Martello towers behind him, exploding on the sides of two of the docked ships. A large number of troops screeched as the impact threw them off the decks, and into the murky water below.

Mathias’ heart sank as the ships let loose their landing walkways with a thud. Despite their initial attack, a massive amount of soldiers spilled onto the pier from all sides and several sky knights took flight above them.

Effie jumped and rolled, catching a javelin midair meant for Elise, and Arthur instinctually ran to his liege’s side. She roared a battle cry and snapped the heavy wooden weapon in two, splinters scattering in every direction like shrapnel.

“Lord Mathias!” Effie roared over the growing sounds of battle. “We need to get all the ground units under cover- there are too many to face head-on out here!"

“R-Right! Take Elise and go toward the town! Azura and I will go to the towers,” Mathias managed to bark out.

Effie grunted in acknowledgment and ran to meet up with Arthur.

Mathias and Azura were cornered back to back against a spear fighter and a samurai who had each jumped off the front of the two side ships respectively. Azura’s face washed over with recognition and realization, and she held her spear close to herself in a practiced defensive position.

The spear fighter looked briefly at Azura with surprise, but snarled when she saw Mathias, lunging at him with enough force to send him several steps back as he barely blocked her onslaught.

“Traitorous filth!” she bellowed, her face contorted in a wild, demon-like expression. He regained his footing and returned her attack, but she deflected with the neck of her spear. His Yato left a chip in the wood of the shaft, but otherwise did not gain him an advantage.

“You dare speak of honor?! You, who tore our royal family apart not once, but twice?"

She swiped the spear at his head and spun it around. He narrowly dodged the blade, but was hit in the side of his head by the hilt of the spear. His ears rang as he fell to the ground.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Azura dancing out of the way of the samurai’s sword strikes with increased strain.

“You do not deserve an honorable death. If you want to die a Nohrian dog instead of a Hoshidan prince, then so be it!” she raised the spear above him and he desperately shielded his face.

Before she struck the blow, however, he heard a deafening roar and the woman instinctively turned to find the source of the noise. He took advantage of the opening and rolled to the side, slashing up her torso and cutting the rope fastener on her chest piece in two. She howled in pain, clutching her stomach as her protective tunic fell to the ground. Her bright orange robes started flowering red around her forearm and she propped herself up with the spear using her other arm. Before she could try to recover and strike again, Mathias started running to Azura’s aid, but was interrupted by a peal of thunder catching the samurai in the chest.

“Hinata! Shit- no, get up we can’t fall back yet!” the spear fighter screamed to the figure collapsed on the ground. His eyes rolled back and his spine arched with the pain of lightning magic overloading his nerves.

As she weakly signaled for a healer, a massive black wyvern swooped above all of them and a deep, silky voice started laughing. Mathias’ eyes shot up toward the sky recognizing the sound and he cried out with happiness upon seeing whom his savior was.

“Camilla! Thank the Gods you’re here!"

The wyvern spun around and flew back toward her brother’s position.

“Don’t thank me yet darling!” she called down, and she struck another soldier with a magic attack. “We’ve still got plenty of insects to pick off before we’re safe."

“Camilla, wait! Try to just incapacitate them! Don’t kill anyone, not even the ones Azura and I were fighting!” he called back to her flailing his arms wildly.

“What? Are you out of your godsdamned mind, Mathias?! We’re in no position to spare these intruding scum,” Camilla yelled, pulling on the reins of her wyvern to dodge an incoming arrow.

“Just trust me on this- please, I’m begging you!” Mathias cried out, fighting back tears.

“Oh my. I can’t say no to that face,” Camilla cooed softly to herself. She flew up higher and whistled sharply through her teeth. Almost instantly, another wyvern flew to her side, a small, short haired woman steering the beast as another woman with long pigtails sat behind her.

“You heard the man, my darling retainers. No killing- yet,” Camilla called to them.

“I will leave them within an inch of their lives, my lady,” the short haired one said coldly.

“Seriously?! Ugh, whatever, at least its a real challenge for once. Beruka- lower me already so I can trounce these motherfuckers, would you?” the other one barked.

Her wyvern flew dangerously close to the ground and the woman with pigtails flipped backward off its tail with a practiced swagger. She landed deftly on the dock and kicked an incoming archer in the chest, knocking him into the water before drawing her sword and plunging head-first into the flurry of combat happening all around them.

The other woman, Beruka, flew swiftly back up and flung two throwing axes in either direction, hitting one sky knight’s pegasus in the shoulder, and clipping the wings of another’s. Both riders were kicked off their steeds and spiraled toward the water, their pegasi falling to the ground with a sickening crunch as their necks snapped.

Beruka’s mount landed between the two writhing animals and she hopped off its back, pulling her axes out of the bodies with a blank expression on her face. As she walked back, she swiped one of the axes across the face of a shrine maiden running to help a wounded samurai without so much as looking at her, and jumped back on her wyvern. The woman clawed at her bleeding face, dropping to her knees and letting go of her healing staff.

Mathias felt his knees go weak and he looked up to his sister's retainer in horror.

“They’ll all live. Probably.” she said curtly and flew off.

He felt bile start to collect in his mouth swallowed, realizing that he had lost Azura at some point.

‘ _I’ll just have to hope she made it and keep going. I just have to keep going_.'

He found a break in the line of soldiers and sprinted as fast as he could, dodging aerial attacks and pushing aside troops with forceful swipes of the Yato, trying desperately to get through without outright killing anyone in his way. He was almost at the tower when a row of samurai blocked his path in the distance. Though he was prepared to skirt around the blockade, he lowered his sword in shock as a single man walked through the middle of the line.

His own brother, Takumi, looked straight at him with immeasurable hatred in his eyes. He raised a golden bow that illuminated with blue light to form a thin bowstring.

“You abandoned your family, and Hoshido,” the Hoshidan prince growled, and pulled the string as a familiar arrow formed at his fingers. Mathias stood paralyzed in fear and anguish as his brother drew the bow all the way back, the glow from the weapon reflecting the hard rage on his delicate features.

“Now pay for your betrayal!” he bellowed, and released the string.

“ _Get down, you dumbass!_ ” a voice shouted from around the corner and yanked Mathias by his cape.

The arrow pierced an exposed area of his shoulder and he hit the floor of an alley, the Yato clattering on the stone next to him.

"N-Niles?" Mathias muttered, disoriented.

The retainer raised his hand and covered Mathias' mouth as he was about to cry out in pain. He took the Yato and pointed ahead down a dank alley.

With little choice, Mathias followed Niles as quickly and quietly as he could muster, the searing pain of Takumi's arrow burning into the flesh of his shoulder. His vision blurred in and out of focus as they traversed through the narrow streets, the evening sun too low to touch the ground in front of them.

After what seemed like ages, Niles finally tipped his head toward a stack of crates and placed the sword next to him, satisfied that Takumi's troops would not be able to find them so deep in unfamiliar territory. It also meant, however, that Mathias would also not be able to find Elise to properly heal him in his current disposition.  
Mathias slid onto the ground, propping himself up on the side of the crate as he struggled to pull a vulnerary out of his armor with a shaky hand. Niles stood near him with his arms crossed, and he could feel a scornful eye looking down at him impatiently. Mathias lost his grip of the bottle and swore under his breath as it bounced to the floor and rolled next to his feet.

"Ugh. Fuck this, I'll be here all night," Niles groaned and used his boot knife to rip the sleeve off of Mathias' shoulder. His pale skin was broken by a deep, piercing gash left from the Fujin Yumi's arrow, and was severely burned by its white-hot energy before it had dissolved into the air.

Niles clicked his tongue as he tore the sleeve into strips.

"Well, milord, I have some great news, and I have some good news- which would you like to hear first?"

Mathias leaned his head on the side of the crate and let out a choked laugh, trying to take his mind off the cocktail of pain, adrenaline, and residual fear that was coursing though his veins.

"Well, I'm a captive audience here- hit me with the great news."

Niles retrieved the vulnerary that had rolled away and rubbed some salve on the cloth, tying them all together to make a single, long strip.

"The great news is that whatever kind of Hoshidan magic your friend's bow seems to use, has completely cauterized your ouchie there. You won't bleed to death in a dirty alley, and you won't get a long, slow infection over a number off weeks."

"Wonderful," Mathias said dryly. "Best news I've heard all day. Now what's the good news."

"The good news is that weird arrow created a much larger hole in you than one of, say, my own brand might. So no matter how gently or roughly I treat this, it will hurt like a bitch all the same." Niles grinned widely as he used two fingers to spread vulnerary salve directly onto the injury.

Mathias stifled a cry and dug his nails into the stone floor.

"You'll have to excuse me if I don't immediately take that as good news," he spat, trying to keep a level voice.

"Oh excuse me," Niles tied one end of his makeshift bandage to Mathias' upper arm and started wrapping it snugly around his shoulder. "I meant good news for me."

"You're such. An asshole," he hissed through clenched teeth as Niles deftly finished wrapping the exposed shoulder in his makeshift gauze. The outlaw laughed at the remark, making no effort to hide his amusement with the prince's pain.

Mathias wiped the cold sweat off his brow with his free arm and caught his breath, looking back at the retainer wiping his ointment-stained hands on Mathias' cloak. Now that he was not blinded by pain, he realized that he owed the man a huge debt of gratitude.

"I...can't thank you enough, Niles. You really saved me."

Niles snorted at Mathias' words of appreciation and rose to his feet. "That's an interesting way to respond to someone causing you incredible pain. I suspected you were a weirdo the moment I first met you." He tossed the empty vulnerary jar behind his shoulder. "Besides, I'm only saving my own hide here. Can't have you writing my salary bonus with your arm burned off."

"Hey, you could have had that arm write it with my skull charred out, but that didn't stop you from saving my life," Mathias replied with a grin as he picked up Yato with his good side and hoisted himself up.

The corner of Niles' mouth turned upward despite himself but he quickly sneered to cloak it. "I'd argue you already have- standing like a damn target dummy in front of an entire blockade. Why you were tasked with getting to the Rainbow Sage, and Lord Leo was not, is something I cannot even begin to fathom," he scoffed.

"Well, I wouldn't have gotten far if you weren't here today- so thanks. Really." Mathias confessed, a wide smile of appreciation spread across his face.

"Oh please. Excuse me while I vomit. Now that I can't see your face wracked with agony anymore, this conversation is no longer interesting to me." Niles retorted as he curled his lip in disgust. "Mozu and Silas are two lefts and a right from the end of this alley. Go get them to babysit you instead. Your little mishaps have wasted enough of my time."

Before waiting for an answer, he briskly walked away, climbing up a building facing the docks, kicking down a boarded-up window, and disappearing into the shadows as he drew his bow. Mathias chuckled to himself and shook his head as he observed the outlaw's handiwork. The arm would definitely need a healing staff as soon as possible, but the first aid would allow him to push through the night to lead his troops. Suddenly, a Hoshidan retreat signal rang through the town and Mathias shot his head up, sprinting off in the direction Niles had pointed him in. The friction of his running stride pushed against and stretched his wound, causing him to wince with every footfall.

As he came to an opening into the square, he spotted Mozu and Silas panting heavily with scratches and blood spatters covering their armor.

Mozu spotted him first and her tired face brightened up immediately.

“Lord Mathias! Ya made it! We been trying to push 'em back fer hours and I think they’re finally pulling back!"

He saw a group of samurai running up the ship's walkway by someone standing at the front of the largest ship. Behind them, he recognized the limp figures of the man and woman from before being carried away hurriedly.

The open area was littered with broken weapons, unresponsive soldiers, and war steeds alike. Out of the corner of his eye, Mathias could see his sister’s wyvern ripping the head off of a dead pegasus and swallowing it whole.

“Mozu, Silas, come with me,” he ordered swiftly, and he ran toward the ship. The two looked at each other apprehensively but obeyed his orders. As he stopped at the end of the pier, a group of Hoshidans that seemed to be the least injured of the group raised their weapons, creating a wall between him and the ship. He looked past them at the man standing on the deck panting with exhaustion and anger.

“Takumi!”

His shout rang out and faded. His brother clenched his fists at the sound of his name, but refused to turn and look at him.

“Takumi- don’t you dare leave without taking the rest of your wounded with you!” Mathias yelled. A few of the Hoshidans looked at each other in confusion.

The Hoshidan prince laughed humorlessly and finally turned, his eyes red and streaked with tears. He would not soon forget this humiliating defeat.

“You expect me to fall for a dirty Nohrian trick like that, brother? I always knew that you took me for a fool."

Mathias sighed exasperatedly, sadness and pain marring his features.

“Takumi, I’m serious- you can still save the rest of your soldiers if you take them with you, but you need to hurry while they can still be healed."

Takumi stood unmoving, looking between his battered army and the man he loathed, unsure of what to do.

“Fine. You don’t believe me. I understand- you’re within your rights not to trust me after...everything that has happened."  
Mathias bent down and placed the Yato in front of him and stood back up, gesturing to the rest of his army within sight to put down their weapons as well. Mozu and Silas were the first to do so, but did not leave Mathias’ side, both looking at him uneasily.

Slowly but surely, the rest of his troops left their hiding places and placed their weapons on the ground, some looking none too pleased to be doing so.

Camilla flew to Mathias’ side and slid off her wyvern, crossing her arms indignantly.

“Must we lower ourselves so much, dear?," she hissed in his ear. "They should be grateful we don’t slaughter that prince whelping on the spot after he has the gall to attack the Nohrian royal family directly. The rest of those excuses for soldiers deserve to bleed out if they are too weak to protect their pathetic prince,” she scoffed and pushed some wavy lavender hair away from her face. Her expression was stonier and more frightening then anything she had displayed when they would spend their days together in the Northern Fortress.  
This Camilla was one that she had always hid from Mathias. The Camilla that had made herself into a predator before she could become the prey, and reveled in her role. He could only hope that the Camilla that cared for her family more than her own life would listen to him instead.

“Camilla- Hoshido may be our enemy, but Takumi's anger is justified. Besides, no one on that ship can do us any harm without endangering themselves or acting dishonorably, can’t we just let them leave with their dignity and take our victory in stride?” he placed a hand on her black, gloved arm and met her eyes, which stood a few inches taller than his own.

She considered his words for a moment and sighed disappointedly, dropping the massive axe strapped to her back. It landed with a thud and she put her hands on her hips as she scowled.

“And the tome as well, please."

She laughed quietly and dropped the tome concealed at her hip with an amiable look of defeat on her face.

“I’m sorry, darling, you seem to know me too well don’t you?"

He squeezed her arm in thanks and returned his attention to the ship.

“Perhaps you should not claim to know all there is about Nohrians, Takumi.” he called up. “Please, retrieve your wounded- I can’t control what might happen to them if they stay captive here- I have little authority over Nohr's war prisons. But I can guarantee you safe passage if you take my offer and leave immediately."

Takumi’s eyes wavered for a moment before he finally accepted his loss, motioning with his head to the samurai surrounding the ship. Wordlessly, they ran into the crowd and carried out severely injured and unconscious Hoshidans by the dozen. The sounds of labored breathing and weak gurgles of pain surrounded Mathias on either side, and he dared not look at the faces that he cut down not minutes before.

Around the Hoshidans, Mathias’ troops stood stiffly by- looking like any of them might lunge for their weapons at any moment, should someone make a wrong move.

  
The last soldier boarded the ship, and Mathias felt his stomach churn as he saw at least ten bodies that weren’t retrieved, likely not worth saving.

“This doesn’t change anything, Mathias!" Takumi shouted from his perch. "Nothing you do now can make up for what you did to tear apart your true family. Your actions will always be a stain on the proud history of Hoshido. Know this, and live with the shame of what you’ve done."

The sound of creaking ship hulls filled the evening air and one by one, the anchors were raised onto each ship as they started moving slowly away from the docks.

Mathias let loose a breath he did not know he was holding and kneeled to pick up the Yato laying next to him, Takumi's words weighing heavily on his back. 

“Don’t pay him any mind dear, he’s clearly got some issues.” Camilla said, seeming to read his mind, and helped her younger brother back to his feet.

The rest of the group started helping each other retrieve their weapons from the ground and low chatter broke the silence left by Takumi’s last words. Elise started running between people, checking their vitals and repairing any gashes or bruises. Some looked more haggard than others, but no one appeared to be irreparably injured. To them, this was a routine- something that became less terrifying the more frequently they faced the constant threat of death. It was completely foreign to the prince, who could still hear the echoing screams of agony from the spear fighter in the orange robes ringing in the back of his ears, and felt the throbbing needles of pain from his brother's arrow.

“I thought we were supposed to head to the towers?” Azura walked over to him, her shimmering white dress stained with dirt and singe marks, and her spear flecked rusty brown with dried blood.

“Sorry about that- had a change of plans,” he said sheepishly, not able to stop himself from looking briefly over in Niles' direction.

She chuckled to herself and brushed her sleeve off. It was something of a futile effort, but it seemed to satisfy her nonetheless.

“I know we are constantly on borrowed time with this mission of ours, but...” Mathias looked around at the tired faces surrounding him. “I think we may have to wait to prepare for Notre Sagesse until tomorrow."

Azura nodded, handing her spear for him to hold before opening a portal to the astral plane. The eternally balmy night sky on the other side was a stark contrast to the display of carnage at their backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MU: *leaves dead horses, damaged buildings, and rubble from a harrowing battle scattered across a densely populated area.*  
> MU: "Well my work here is done."  
> Although in MU's defense, Fire Emblem; Battlefield Cleanup wouldn't have been nearly as fun to play.
> 
> Also as far as I'm concerned, vulneraries are just fantasy neosporin and I'm staying steadfast on that headcanon, darnit.
> 
> This chapter started getting ridiculously long so I'm going to follow up soon with more broken up into another chapter. Sorry again for long periods of no chapter, my job gets really busy in the summer months, but I'm looking forward to getting into the meat of this fic now that I have a better idea of what to do and have gotten some awesome feedback (thanks again though seriously- sorry I tend to ramble when I reply to comments).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm always still down for some constructive feedback! This fic is definitely the most self indulgent thing I've ever written but its also the most fun!


	4. No Rest for the Well-Intentioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for animal death, descriptions of dead things, food, minor ableist language, bare chests, mentions of violence and past abuse, and minor suggestive language. 
> 
> Can't think of any others but feel free to let me know of anything I missed. 
> 
> Enjoy, my dudes!

The healing magic emanating from Elise’s staff started to fade in small wisps as she lowered her hand, inspecting her work. She had not said a word since she had started working on Mathias’ arm, dark lines shadowing her child-like features.  
Not wanting to disrupt her concentration, Mathias had elected to be as silent and still as possible during the process.

He wondered whether she was always this quiet when she was mending wounds. It seemed so out of character for someone so transparent with her emotions. Elise laughed when she was happy, and cried when she was sad, and that was that. But when she was attending to each soldier after their battle, she worked with a quick and practiced hand, and spoke very little.

  
When Mathias had unraveled the bandage on his shoulder for her in the privacy of his quarters she had only said something about doing her best to make it painless before starting her work and becoming withdrawn from him. It was worrying to see his sister so serious around him, but she clearly knew what she was doing.

True to her word, the mending process was much smoother than the first aid that Niles had provided him with. Though to his credit, it had definitely served its purpose when Mathias had needed it most. He would have to relay the retainer’s good work to his brother when they were reunited.

“Hey Elise, can I sit up now? It feels a lot better,” he said, breaking the heavy atmosphere hanging over his room. Her eyes shot up from the healing wound and whatever spell was over her demeanor seemed to lift.

“Huh? Oh yeah! The scar might not totally go away, but just don’t strain that arm too much for a few days and it should heal fine.”

He grinned and tapped his chin. “Hrmmm...I don’t know if I can promise that, Doctor Elise."

She looked at him, slightly worried. “Why not?"

“Because I absolutely, positively need to do this!” he declared and swept her up in a soul-crushing bear hug.

She was definitely right about the arm. He could feel the tender muscle around his shoulder strain significantly when he lifted her up, but he resisted wincing in discomfort when he sat how much Elise seemed to relax, her face returning to its bright, bubbly smile as she hugged him back tightly, pressing her forehead against his chest.

Mathias put his sister back down as both siblings’ laughter faded. She looked up to him and pouted, punching his other arm lightly.  
“I’m super serious about that shoulder, big bro! You’d better stay off of it for a few days or so help me!”

“I promise, I promise,” he assured her as he ruffled her hair and threw on a loose shirt. "Thank you Elise, you’re the best. Say, I can think of someone who’s probably dying to see you since we got back to the astral plane."

She gasped and put a hand over her mouth. “Omigosh-I totally forgot about Camilla!" She darted toward the door but turned around bouncing up and down as her huge pigtails flopped at her sides. “Will you be okay by yourself, Mathias?"

He waved his hand and chuckled. “Psh, don’t worry about me, Elise, I’m fine. Go and give your sister an even bigger hug than I gave you- that’s an order, young lady."

“Yessir!” she exclaimed, and all but flew out the door.

The familiar, oppressive silence of his room returned as Elise’s bright presence faded. Glad to be exhausted for once, Mathias immediately fell into his bed, preventing his anxious mind from filling the empty space of the treehouse with the suffocating memories of the day’s events.

* * *

 Though there was no new blood to be spilled, the second day in Port Dia was almost as unpleasant as the first.

The army had been fortunate enough to have the astral plane to escape to when things had started to fester overnight, though it became clear to the locals slowly leaving their homes early the next morning that the morning sun this late in the year was wholly unforgiving on rotting flesh.

Azura was the first to step out of the portal, and the first to inhale the heavy, acrid stench hanging over the docks. The others followed suit behind her with little fanfare and awaited their orders, though most knew what was going to be asked of them, and were simply dreading the moment that they would have to collect the offending bodies and dispose of them in some manner. Not a moment after Mathias had stepped out of the portal, a stout, sun-kissed woman of aging years walked toward the group and barked directly at the prince to speak with her.

He hurried to meet her and rushed through his formalities before she pointed to the docks and shouted at him. From where Azura was standing, she could only see him bowing his head in a gesture of apology as she pointed aggressively at the docks and looked back at him as though he was an idiot.  
From what she could observe, the woman appeared to be some official in Dia, likely the reagent or mayor, and she had bags under her eyes that matched those under half of their own troops.

Lady Camilla’s shorter, creepier retainer, Beruka, walked up next to Azura and crossed her arms. “Why are we still in this shithole? I thought the reason Lady Camilla, Selena, and I were needed here was because completing the mission swiftly was paramount."

“It is-” Azura rebuked, but she paused, trying to phrase her words carefully around the assassin. She was not known for her empathetic personality, or for…any personality, for that matter, if her cold, precise movement on the battlefield was any indication.  
“We are working on thin resources and a fragile reputation. I’d imagine that Mathias is simply assuring Dia that an army that currently represents more than half of the Nohrian royal family is concerned with the town's continued wellbeing."

“So the people care about their lieges playing cleaning duty now? Curious,” Beruka responded flatly.

Azura honestly could not tell if the woman was being sarcastic or not. “Tell me Beruka, how do you dispose of the unpleasant remains after you have executed one of your…marks? After you have followed Lady Camilla into a fierce battle? Do you think that everything just magically disappears?"

To that, Beruka smirked slightly and looked up at Azura from under her black headband. "I never stay around long enough to find out, Lady Azura."

Azura felt a shiver run up her spine at the thought of the trails of bodies that other royals may have left scattered in the fields of the Nohrian heartland for the sake of following King Garon’s orders swiftly and efficiently. She wondered if Hoshido had done the same as the frequency of fighting went on. It left a bad taste in her mouth.

Before Azura could respond to the retainer, however, Mathias made his way toward her with a glowering expression. Beruka took the hint and walked away, resuming her stance glued to Camilla’s side. The sight of the tiny woman next to her practically amazonian master would have been amusing to Azura if she had not personally seen the carnage that each woman could cause on the battlefield separately, let alone together.

“Well?” she asked expectantly.

Mathias sighed and ran his hand through his hair, looking at her with tired eyes. Azura wondered offhandedly if he knew how habitually he performed the gesture.

“The mayor is uh, not pleased with the state of affairs. Apparently she caught wind of the statement by Takumi’s forces that they would pass through peacefully and blames us for the several days' halt in trade.” Mathias looked back to the town. “And for the damages caused by our troops holding the line at the end of the square."

She furrowed her brow. “We wouldn’t have won if you didn’t command us to use the town as cover like that.”

“Doesn’t matter to her. The mayor of a merchant port has no reason to care about the implications of letting Hoshido breeze past her land and galavant through the rest of the Nohrian countryside."

“That seems to be an…undesirable trait for a person who acts as a voice between her people and the Nohrian royal family," she mused.

Mathias looked back at her, apparently surprised at her statement. “I don’t know how much you remember from when you were a child, Azura, but it's been like this for awhile- individual territories are angry with the lack of resources and support they can get from the capital and start trying to become as autonomous as possible without getting punished for treason.” Mathias shrugged. “Or at least, I’ve heard as much in bits of conversations I can hear between my siblings when they return from their own campaigns.”

"I don’t really appreciate that woman putting me through the ringer like that, but I can’t say I blame her much. She’s just trying to look out for her own, and I’m sure it’s difficult for father to keep supporting and controlling parts of Nohr this far from the capital.These people can’t be left with our obtrusive mess just because they were trying to stay out of all this." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes. “I suppose that’s the drawback of having such a small force. No one but us to do the dirty work, am I right?” he sighed.

Azura pursed her lips, “You’re certainly not wrong."

“I believe if we try our hardest to help the locals today and just bend to the mayor’s wishes for now, they will be much more inclined to get us supplies and a ferry out of here posthaste."

She hummed in agreement and looked at the tired face in front of her. No matter how difficult people were with him, Mathias always seemed to believe the best in others. She was not sure if it was a good trait for a leader who was constantly at the other end of a blade, but at times it seemed to be the only constant thread holding all of them together.

More and more, Azura felt her control of the tide’s direction slipping, subject to the waves looming over their cause that pushed and pulled everyone against their will. She was grateful for her friend’s inexhaustible reserve of faith in others, even if it was sometimes misplaced.

“It seems we have little choice, my friend,” she responded, nodding encouragingly at him before he addressed the troops.

* * *

 Mathias would be lying to himself if he thought the rest of the day would be pleasant, though nothing could have prepared him for the volume of work needed. Waves of heat from the midmorning sun could be seen radiating off the dock as flies started to gather around the scattered carcasses. The members of the army that he had assigned to collecting bodies and digging mass graves had said nothing to object to his orders, but did not try to hide their glowering faces in front of him. Apparently this type of dirty work was not normally expected from anyone in the group of skilled warriors.

Fortunately, Lilith had promised him “something to boost morale”, as she put it, for their return in the evening, and he had told the rest of the army as much. It seemed a bit childish to be offering grown, battle-hardened soldiers a surprise in order to get them to do unpleasant tasks, but there was no time or resources to hire people for grunt work, and they desperately needed Dia’s ferries running as soon as possible. It at least peaked some interest when he had mentioned it to the others, and he had to admit that he, himself was pretty curious.

Not wanting to risk losing his breakfast in front of others, Mathias elected to find the handful of people removing shattered glass and wood from between the streets near the town square. He tied the front of his cloak over his mouth and nose as he walked around a few carcasses, his eyes watering and his stomach objecting loudly.

  
Trying to get past the carnage as swiftly as possible, he almost didn’t see Silas, standing stiff as a board and looking down at a dead horse with a blank expression on his face. Mathias placed a hand on his shoulder, and the knight jumped before meeting eyes with his concerned friend.

“It’s bad, I know, but we have to keep at it if we want to get this over with as quickly as possible,” he said, squeezing Silas’ shoulder gently.

“Sorry, Mathias, I’ll get back to it in a second its just…” Silas drew a shaky breath. “I had hoped that when I couldn’t find Dain last night after the battle that she would just be grazing near where you and I were doing inventory yesterday."

Mathias looked down at the beast, its neck was contorted and its eyes were wide and glassy. He would not have recognized it as Silas’ steed if he hadn’t pointed it out. Silas had talked about going through cavalier and knight training with Dain on numerous occasions, often spending his free hours after their friendly sparring sessions brushing her mane or scratching behind her ears.

Mathias sighed. “Oh Silas, I’m so sorry. She was a good horse,”

“Don’t worry about it, Mathias,” he responded quickly, rubbing one of his eyes and clearing his throat. “I suppose I should just be glad that it wasn’t one of our troops. We got out pretty easy yesterday given how outnumbered we were."

“She _was_ one of the troops, Silas. I don’t think ‘easy’ exists in our world, but I think she would be happy to know that you’re thinking of her."

Silas nodded silently, unable to meet Mathias’ eyes.

"When we get back to the astral plane, why don’t we find some flowers to lay for her in that glade you liked to ride her around, near the lower canals?"

“I’d really like that, Mathias, thank you.” Silas said, sniffing a few times before clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders.  
“This needs to be uh, taken care of, would you mind helping me find a place to bury her?"

He removed his hand from Silas’ shoulder. “N-not at all, lets find her a nice spot.”  
He couldn’t say no to such a simple request, not from Silas, who had been such a stalwart ally and a dear friend despite Mathias’ failure to even remember him upon their reunion.

Steeling himself, Mathias lifted the heavy body with Silas on the other side, and they slowly shuffled toward a small cliff overlooking the harbor.

* * *

 The sun hung low in the sky when at last the army reconvened, sweaty and tired. The town was larger and more damaged than Mathias had originally thought, and there was unfortunately little prospect of leaving Dia for good until the next morning.

  
Nevertheless, it looked a sight better now than it did that morning, and the mayor was true to her word. She assured him that she would prepare a ferry for them and preload any supplies that they could spare, which as Mathias found out, were not many.

After he had helped Silas, Mathias was ready to wash himself of the affair, both mentally and physically, though there was little chance of him admitting this to the poor man. He had definitely had to empty his stomach once or twice while Silas had his back turned, and he doubted he would forget the smell for a long time. With luck, their subsequent confrontations would be less grisly, and he wouldn’t need to face that particular weakness of his any longer than necessary. He doubted that he would get that fortunate.

With plans to wash himself in the edge of the canals, Mathias was eager to follow Azura into the astral portal. But as he stepped onto the grounds, his eye was caught by a building that had appeared in a previously empty space on the castle green. It appeared flat and square in shape, and billows of steam were rising gently from the top. As he got closer he realized that it was, of all things, a hot spring.

He would definitely have to give Lilith something a bit better to eat than bread after this for erecting something so… _extravagant_.

The army filed through the portal and started making a beeline for the baths as soon as they realized what the surprise was. Some were all but removing their armor as they tried to get there first, and Mathias found himself having to yell after them to avoid any altercations between tired, grumpy, and fully armed soldiers that had probably never needed a bath more in their lives.

“One gender at a time please! And for gods’ sake, properly remove your armor and weapons before trying to enter the facility!” he shouted with futility behind them.

Deciding that experiencing the baths was likely a fool’s errand for at least the next hour or so, Mathias walked toward the mess hall to get a loaf of bread if he could find one handy. Felicia saw him walk in the opposite direction of the rest of the army and ran up to meet his gait.

“Lord Mathias, don’t you want to be the first to jump in? It looks divine!” Felicia sighed with a dreamy look on her face.

“They all deserve to use the hot springs after all I’ve been putting them through,” he responded, looking at the maid’s tired frame. “You should join them, Felicia, you’ve had a long couple of days."

Felicia shook her head. “I’ll get more peace of mind knowing you’re taken care of then anything a bath can do for me.” She declared, but couldn’t resist sniffing the underside of her sleeve. “Why, do you think I need one?"

Mathias shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt.” Felicia scowled at him with her big blue puppy eyes, clearly offended. “Oh, don’t give me that look, Fel, we all need one right about now. I’m just hungry is all, don’t you worry, I’m taking one as well, soon as all the fuss has died down.” he rolled his eyes. “And when the person on kitchen duty for dinner realizes that they still have a job to do and an army to feed."

Felicia made a noise of annoyance. “I should find whoever it is and drag them out of the baths myself. We’re still in the military here, we have jobs to do."

Mathias walked through the mess hall doors and ran a hand through his hair. “Honestly, I'm too tired to care right now. Camilla was likely the first to get into the water, she’ll be there to keep anyone from slacking off too long."

Felicia smiled to herself. She had drawn countless baths for Lord Mathias’ oldest sister back at the Northern Fortress, and was well aware of her affinity for pretty much any body of hot water.

Mathias reached behind the kitchen counter and grabbed a baguette, shoving one end in his face. There was no point in putting on airs in front of someone like Felicia. She had seen him at his best and at his worst, and never seemed to judge him for the discrepancy in either side of his personality.  
If only she didn’t try to take his burdens as his own, he might have confined his doubts in his family’s, and his own methods for leading a war.  
Perhaps then, they might still be together, like they were during their lonely days in the confines of the fortress. But much had changed, and Mathias had slowly discovered how self-destructive she could be in caring for others. He was content now to be her close friend, and trust her to have his back in the ensuing battles.

After a few minutes of talking about this and that, Mathias finally ordered the maid to take a break and enjoy the baths. She pretended to leave slowly after she agreed, but was basically running toward the hot springs as soon as she thought he couldn’t see her anymore. He watched her bemusedly from the kitchen window and continued to rip sections of the bread off with his teeth.

After he finished, he decided to walk the parameter of the castle, stopping only to leave Lilith with some candies that he had been saving for himself at some point.  
As he came back to his treehouse, the sun had long since set, and there was only a sliver of soft blue light left skirting the horizon. He suddenly realized how swollen his left arm was starting to feel under his armor and he gingerly removed his chest piece and arm guards. The wound was definitely healing quickly, a testament to Elise’s skill as a healer, but it still surged with pain whenever he put on or removed his armor. He flexed his fingers, trying to circulate the blood throughout his arm, but it was just too sore from lifting debris all day.

Perhaps he _should_ make a bath a priority before it was too far past regular sleeping hours. He would likely regret shirking the opportunity to give his body some respite before he had to prepare for whatever faced him in Notre Sagesse.

With that, he grabbed a towel from his small pile of clean linens and went down the stairs.

To his surprise, the bathhouse was completely empty. It had certainly shown signs of being heavily used just hours before, but the water nevertheless looked inviting, and he shed his tunic and leggings, folding them neatly on a bench in the far corner and draping his towel on top of a fountain close to the edge of the water.  
He dipped a foot in the water, and lowered the rest of his body in slowly, taking care not to let the heat of the water rush too quickly over his shoulder.  
Finally, he submerged himself completely and leaned on the edge of the pool, a groan of satisfaction escaping his lips before he could catch himself, but there was no one around and he could not remember the last time something had felt so good on his skin.

He had to admit, Lilith really had pulled all the stops on this one. ’ _Not a minute too soon as well,_ ’ he thought grimly.

Mathias leaned his head on the back of one of the pillars on the edge of the spring, tilting his gaze upward at the open air above him. A cool breeze tickled his face, and his breathing started slowing down, becoming more even in time to the distant sound of crickets chirping. His eyelids became heavy, and his tense, belabored muscles slowly released, allowing his sore body to completely relax.

* * *

 

The next thing he felt was something cold and annoying pounding on his forehead in an even rhythm. It felt like beads of cold water, and although it should have been nothing more than a minor annoyance, it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore. He stirred and instinctively wiped his forehead, letting his hand drift back into the pool. As his arm sank into the water, his fingers brushed against a hairy stretch of skin, and he shot his head up in alarm.

He smacked his face against a wet towel hanging inches above his head and yelped in shock, jumping back into the column and hitting the back of his neck.

“SONUVABITCH,” Mathias blurted out clutching his head and clenching his teeth. Scanning the premises with a venomous glare, he found Niles as the offending party. His shoulders were shaking from silent laughter and his shit-eating grin was bleached white by the pale moonlight.

"How did you think that might be appropriate behavior?!” Mathias barked, still shaken by the sudden, painful disruption of his alone time.

Niles gradually controlled his laughter, clearing his throat a few times before answering. “Nyx begrudgingly let me borrow one of her books on ancient torture- fascinating stuff. I read one about dropping water repeatedly on a detainee’s forehead until they loose it completely. Thought I’d see if it was true.” he shrugged. “Granted, it usually requires them to be completely tied down, we make do with what we can with less than ideal conditions, right milord?"

Mathias stayed silent, waiting for a better explanation. It didn’t come.

"You seemed immobile enough just laying there defenseless, I couldn’t help myself,” Niles rationalized.

Mathias stopped hyperventilating from the shock, but his blood was still boiling, and he narrowed his eyes. More than anything he just wanted to clock the man right in the middle of his smug face, but he knew Niles well enough now that it would be exactly what he wanted- a chance to challenge and dominate whatever dynamic was forming between the two of them on his antagonistic terms.

Mathias had already lost his cool once and refused to allow the outlaw the satisfaction.

Niles was stretched out in the pool, one hand resting on the sopping wet towel that he had tormented Mathias with and the other dangling in the warm water. His arm was almost touching Mathias’ despite the fact that he had plenty of room to claim his own section of the hot spring.

  
Having spent more than a few times in royal baths with his siblings, it wasn’t the proximity to a next-to-naked man that was preventing him from being at ease, but now that he wasn’t immediately alarmed, his eyes trailed toward the streaks of colorless, scarred flesh that covered Niles' muscular frame. They told a grisly story that stretched across his body, and left Mathias with a pit in his stomach that he couldn’t quite shake. The white, damaged skin was a stark contrast to the deep, tan complexion that the man boasted, the only other break in his color at his neckline and hands, which had clearly seen more sun than the rest of him, but only extenuated the ochre color of the less frequently exposed parts of his body.

Mathias swallowed hard, wondering how his mouth had gone dry when he had been sitting in the steam of the baths for at least an hour.

His wandering eyes did not go past Niles’ attention, and he not-so-subtly inched closer to the prince, his uncovered eye darkening with interest.  
Mathias instantly became aware of his embarrassingly obvious ogling and submerged himself under the water, allowing the hot water to sting his face.  
The loud hum of the fountain hit the surface of the water, filling his ears and his flustered mind. He drifted around around slowly and resurfaced father away, but not far enough to make it blatantly obvious that he was retreating in embarrassment, though he doubted that anything he did escaped the outlaw’s attention with only the two of them in the bathhouse.

“I’m curious to know how you and Felicia got on yesterday,” he said in an attempt to break the tense, stifling air resting over the open bathhouse. “I know it seemed like an odd pairing, but I have noticed that she has a similar speed to your own when she’s in the heat of battle,"

Niles tilted his head and crossed his legs. “The maid? Yeah, she’s a real piece of work-"

“Bold words, coming from you,” Mathias interrupted, unable to stop himself from defending his friend.

Niles snorted. “Touché. Anyway, if his benevolence will let me answer his damn question, she was much more competent in battle then I gave her credit for. You’re a sly dog for keeping her close, I knew that ditzy shtick of hers was a facade,” the mischievous glint in Niles’ uncovered eye returned. “Makes me think about what else she’s hiding. Perhaps other 'skills' of hers that can be utilized,” he mused.

Mathias relaxed a bit, raising an eyebrow in amusement at the thought of Felicia as a femme fatale. “I agree that she’s a threat on the battlefield, but I don’t know how you could have come to the conclusion that my maid is secretly some kind of wily temptress. Frankly the image of you trying to seduce my chambermaid is absolutely hilarious."

Niles sneered in response. “Oh, so she keeps that side of herself even hidden from her liege? Clever girl. Well then, I’ll let you in on a little secret, because I’m in a good mood tonight.” Niles leaned his head in toward Mathias. "Before I came here, she ‘accidentally' spilled tea all over my pants as she was leaving the mess hall, and offered to give me something _special_ as an apology the next time I saw her."

Now it was Mathias’ turn to laugh. He stood up in the shallow water and leaned his good arm against a pillar, his other hand on his knee. “ _Oh Fel…_ ” he mumbled bemusedly to himself, shaking his head.

Niles blinked, growing annoyed at the prince’s response.

“Let me venture a guess, did she say that it would ' _taste like heaven_ ’?” Mathias didn’t wait for an answer, the man’s face told him all he needed to know.  
“She’s talking about cookies, Niles. She makes them for me every time she ruins any of my clothes, which is often,” Mathias snickered.

Niles’ eyebrow twitched and he pressed his lips into a thin line. “You don’t know that,” he grumbled. If Mathias didn’t know any better, he could almost see a twinge of embarrassment reddening his cheeks.

“Trust me when I say that I really, really do.” Mathias said. Leaning on the pillar, he paused and softened his expression, sighing deeply.  
“If you don’t trust me, Niles, that’s fine. I won’t force you to be best friends with your commanding officer, but can you at least extend some trust to my friends? To the rest of the army? Not everyone around you has an ulterior motive, you know, maybe if you give them a chance, you’ll find that you actually enjoy being liked by others."

If the look of pity on the prince’s face wasn’t enough to anger Niles, the sincerity of his patronizing advice set him over the edge. He tossed the wet towel behind him and stood up, walking over to where Mathias was. The prince tensed as Niles approached him with a steely, terrifying glare.  
The darkness in the man's eye was not the playful lust that Mathias had seen on his face more than once, but a look that told him, loud and clear, that he was not to be toyed with on someone else’s terms.

  
Niles put an arm on the column, leaving Mathias with no more room to back up, trapping him on the side of his weaker arm. The prince tried to appear unfazed, but Mathias could tell that the retainer was trained to spot minute expressions of weakness, and reduce others to cornered animals. Suddenly his role as a retainer to his brother, Leo, became a lot clearer.

Niles smiled widely, baring his teeth in a crooked grin. Though he was not touching Mathias, he may as well have had him tied to the wooden pillar. The taut muscles on the prince’s pale, unmarred torso gave away his shallow breathing, and he found himself paralyzed under the outlaw’s hard gaze.

“Tell me, _milord_ , why do you trust people?” he whispered in a low voice.

Mathias startled at the words. He had found himself expecting Niles to do something to hurt him in the heat of the moment. Angry at himself for assuming the worst, he scrambled his thoughts together to answer the man’s question.  
“I- I don’t know,” he said in a cracked voice. He cleared his throat. "I suppose I just feel like people, no matter what they’ve done deserve a chance at trust. If someone hasn’t done me wrong, why shouldn’t I show them that I trust them?"

Niles laughed dryly. “I knew you’d say some smarmy shit like that. Your kind take more than just a silver spoon for granted. Trust is nothing but a luxury reserved for people who never had it used against them,” Niles put his arm on the other side of the pillar, completely trapping Mathias and looming over him despite their relatively even heights. "Bear that in mind next time you get your smallclothes in a twist over making sure everyone gets along like peaches and cream in this damn army,” he growled.

Mathias crossed his arms, straightening his posture to meet Niles’ gaze. “And have you ever even tried?”

“Gods, you really are thick, aren’t you?” Niles muttered to himself. He removed one of his arms from the column and reached for the back of his head, pulling loose the knot on the back of his eyepatch and lifting it off his face.

Mathias flinched before he could stop himself. The space where Niles’ other eye should have been was discolored and shriveled, and streaks of scarred tissue extended out from the old wound as if something sharp had struck the side of his face multiple times. The muscle around it was just slack enough to show nothing, not even a blind eye, in the cavity.

“If I hadn’t learned my lesson after that,”

  
Niles pointed to another deep scar across his torso. “Or this,”

He pulled down the side of his smallclothes to reveal another scar that trailed up his inner thigh and ended all the way at the right side of his pubic bone. “Or hey, maybe this?"

He snapped his underwear back in place.

“Then I’d be pretty godsdamned stupid, or more likely, I’d be dead. But hey, ideals and handholding is more important than learning to survive, right? Or have you never had the pleasure of being stabbed-“ Niles drew his face closer to Mathias'

“viciously..."

  
their faces were inches away.

  
“-and repeatedly..."

  
his lips brushed lightly on Mathias’ ear. The prince inhaled sharply.

“in the back?"

Niles waited for a response, and none came.  
“Ha. I didn’t think so."

“How did-“ Mathias started, holding an arm near Niles’ eye, before retracting it gingerly.

“”How did they take my eye?” Niles finished, refusing to let the question go. He shook his head. “That’s hardly fair, I gave you a full-body tour of my little nicks and scratches, you have to tell me how you got that lovely little facial decoration, “ he said, pantomiming the prince’s noticeable facial scar by drawing a horizontal line across his own face from cheek to cheek.

Mathias averted his gaze and looked down at his hands. They were cold despite having been submerged in the hot water until just a few minutes before. “I don’t actually remember."

  
Niles rolled his eye. “Of course you don't. Well then, once again, I have nothing else to get out of our little exchanges, unless you have something else to show me,” he purred, peering down at Mathias’ smallclothes under the water.

Mathias crossed his arms again, regaining some of his guardedness as he frowned at the retainer. “As much as this may baffle you, Niles, I find someone insulting me and pinning me to a wall to be something of a nonstarter."

“Well, that makes one of us, I suppose. Disappointing.” Niles trailed off, scratching his chin.

Mathias did not want to let the other man end their conversation in such a way, leaving him once again looking like an idiot. At least he knew one way to keep him from becoming completely disinterested.  
“At least...not until I know them well enough, that is,” Mathias added just loud enough for the other man to hear, cocking an eyebrow.

Niles tilted his head and chuckled deeply. “Oh, is that a fact? Alas, milord, as incredibly tempting as that sounds, I don’t think think I have much more patience, or really any need to continue our little heart-to-heart chats."

Mathias frowned. Perhaps Niles assumed that he had nothing that the outlaw didn’t have or couldn’t get himself. Honestly, he wasn’t sure himself, and if Niles had his way, it appeared that neither of them would ever know.  
“I’ll admit that makes me a bit sad. I won’t force you to spend time with me, or anyone in the army, for that matter, but I was hoping that we could become friends.” He removed himself from under Niles and pulled himself out of the water.  
"Though if you find me ‘too simple’ for you, then I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Mathias started drying himself off. "Now, if you would excuse me, I believe spending as much time as I have in these baths has given me a bit of a headache.”

“There is one thing about you that continues to elude my understanding milord,” Niles called over his shoulder from the water.

“Oh, wonderful.” Mathias’ sarcasm was muffled somewhat by talking though a towel covering most of his face. “Should I even ask what that might be?"

“If you don’t get turned on by me cajoling you constantly, why the fell do you even bother trying to be chummy with me? If I have shown some sort of interest that is not purely superficial, then by all means, enlighten me, because I’m at a loss here, and I’d sure like to correct my behavior to avoid any future misconceptions.”

A thoughtful look reflected in Mathias’ eyes as he put his tunic on, before he finally answered. “Lets just say that my experiences, as limited as they seem to be, have forced me more than once to find where kindness lies in others, even when it is not seen or rewarded."

“Touching. Have fun finding someone to wax poetic to at this time of the night, because you’re falling on deaf ears here.”

Mathias slid his leggings on and started walking out the door, but he stopped and looked directly at Niles.

“I know that you are a good person, Niles, I’ve seen it myself, and I trust Leo’s judgment more than my own. I don’t really understand why you don’t want anyone to know, but you clearly have your reasons.”

Niles despite himself, could not help but allow his indignant confusion to show on his face. He felt nauseous, but he’d be damned if he gave the kid some sort of idea that his words would leave a lasting impression on him.

“Relax, your secret is safe with me,” Mathias said with a challenging grin.

“Well, if you ever decide that I _am_ worth your time, you know where to find me. I thank you for sharing your concerns with me, and I will definitely think over your words. Otherwise, I guess we can both agree we have nothing to talk about. Good night Niles,” Mathias said as he walked into the night.

As he walked toward his room, Mathias’ hand hovered over to his newly scarred shoulder and ran his thumb over the fabric covering it. He felt like he had much to learn from the retainer, and was disappointed in knowing that he would likely be avoiding him from then on, but he was a commander, and he had to respect his army's wishes.

  
‘ _Can’t win them all, Mathias, you know damn well you have more important things to focus on._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two bros- chillin in a hot tub- 5 feet apart cause they're not gay
> 
>  
> 
> As per usual this was much harder to write than I thought it would be, so let me know if anything seems off/confusing/inconsistent in tone, pacing, characterization, etc. Otherwise, thanks again for reading and being awesome! Also idk if its canon but I want Camilla to be as tall as Xander, if not slightly taller because yes. 
> 
> Next chapter will be a bit different and will be the start of some time jumping because I think we can all agree that writing and reading a play-by-play of every chapter map in conquest would be pointless and/or boring. I haven't even finished revelations so I don't have that much faith in my attention span haha.


	5. What Lies Beyond the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy it's been awhile, sorry folks my job has been taking up all my spare time until very recently so I was finally able to finish this chapter that I started back in mid-August. Thank you for your patience!
> 
> Content warnings in this chapter are: mentions of child abuse, violence toward children, food mentions, some blood, and I think that's it? As always, I will tag or add more if anyone needs them.

 Mathias ran his fingers over the tips of rye and inhaled slowly, taking in the heavy summer air. The tall, brown reeds in the valley below the Northern Fortress were much rougher to the touch than he had always imagined. The silky waves they created in the harsh valley winds had always given them a much softer, liquid-like appearance from his far bedroom window.

  
In a way, it was better than he could have imagined, having something coarse and _real_ around him. No stone walls and ornate rugs to mark the boundaries of his world. Just Silas behind him and the rye stretching out in front of him as far as he could see.

His blissful state was broken every few seconds or so as his neck craned to look back at the castle wall. When once again, he saw nothing, the wave of anxiety settled in his stomach, satiated until it decided when he should be worried once again about someone passing by one of the windows.

He jolted up in shock when Silas tackled him from behind, putting him in a playful headlock.  
Mathias batted of the assault but could not keep himself from laughing. “Silas, c’mon! You scared the heck outta me!"  
Silas put his hands on his hips, a visible pout on his round, freckled face. “Had to do something to get your attention, Mattie. I didn’t break you out of that old castle just so you could look back at it this whole time!"

The young prince looked back at Silas apologetically, having second thoughts once again. “Sorry... I don’t think I’ve been this far from the fortress before. What if someone sees us? I don’t want to get you in trouble, Si."

“Psh, there’s no way Gunter could spot us way out here with those wrinkly ‘ol eyes of his,” Silas responded, diverting his attention toward scanning the ground for exciting treasures.

Mathias shifted on his feet, exasperated at his best friend’s nonchalance.  
His mind flashed to the week before, when he was caught looking for a loose stone in the basement wall by a few guards.

_‘If you like the cellars so much, Prince Mathias, why not stay down here for a little while? Get a feel for the place?'_

His head still rang with their snickering, which had echoed with the slamming of the heavy wooden door at the top of the stairs.  
He did not want to spend another hour locked in that awful basement, and he could only imagine what punishment a low-ranking governor’s son like Silas would face for encouraging his errant behavior.

When Mathias had met Silas in the foyer that morning, he seemed like he could barely contain his excitement. Not a moment after the remaining chambermaids had left the entryway did the boy pull out a wrinkled piece of parchment- on one side the list of things that he wanted to see in the outside world, and on the other side, a map with certain times scrawled in corners. If there was some sort of order to the diagram, Mathias couldn’t make it out, though he could vaguely discern the outline of the fortress’ lower courtyard.

  
Over the next hour, the two boys had poured over the map, Mathias studying Silas’ remarkably thorough notes on the guards’ patrol schedules- paying closest attention to the times that Gunter elected to use the 2nd level lavatory, which had a particularly clear view to the rolling hills that were wrapped around the courtyard walls.

And now, for a few glorious hours, he was completely free, and he had absolutely no idea what to do with himself other than to take it in for as long as he could, and push the idea of getting caught out of his mind.

Silas, on the other hand, was more practiced in the art of outdoor lallygagging- his pockets heavy with the weight of multicolored rocks, and his dirt-caked hands were full of sticks and branches that he clearly had some sort of plan for. It was a testament to his ranking in the Nohrian nobility; rich enough to not be put to the fields as soon as he could stand on two feet, but not important enough to be assigned tutors more than a few times a week.

  
As a result, the boy had gained a certain proclivity for finding entertainment in the sparse northeastern valleys of Nohr where he lived. He had quickly discovered that despite resting in the shadow of a massive fortress, the small merchant town that his parents were officials in provided little opportunity for him to meet other children of his age.  
It also meant that he became very skilled at avoiding the attention and scorn of adults, being the youngest attendant of every town council meeting or faith service, and the only one who could be attributed to stirring up mischief in the small town.

Not once had he glanced back at the fortress since they wriggled through the 3 loose bricks in the outer stone wall, and Mathias felt a combination of jealousy and admiration that made his head feel slightly fuzzy. But he trusted Silas, and Silas trusted him. To the young prince, nothing else that might come up really mattered, so long as he could see his only friend’s smiling face waiting for him every day when he met him in the large entryway of the castle.

Silas apparently found what he was looking for, and carefully placed the rest of his growing collection on rocks under a dead oak tree.  
He had two branches- each at least as tall as him, and he tossed one to Mathias, who caught it and looked at the noble boy with a blank stare. Silas walked slowly around Mathias, grinning impishly and twirling the dead branch around his right arm.

  
When he had just reached the corner of Mathias’ vision, Silas swung the stick at his stomach as hard as he could. Mathias instinctively blocked with his own branch, digging his bare feet into the dirt. He shouted in surprise, and gasped when he realized how loud he was. The window, fortunately, was still free of onlookers.

“Silas, you’ve gone mad!”

Silas flashed a toothy grin and stuck his branch upright in the grass.

“You and me Mattie. Paladins versus Swordmasters. Right now!” he put one hand on the stick and the other on his hip, egging the other boy on with a smoldering stare.

Mathias scoffed and put his own branch over his shoulder in a practiced motion. “So you want to get your butt whooped again, Si? Fine by me!"

“Nuh-uh Mattie. You always get to win! We’re in my turf now and I get to be the paladin this time. I dare you to try an’ knock me off of this rock with your stick before I touch your head with mine!” Silas declared, pulling his branch out of the ground and jumping on top of a lone boulder on top of the breezy hill.

Mathias pouted, but said nothing, watching the boy’s foot stance intently from his higher ground. Silas was undoubtedly the better scrappy fighter, as indicated by his scabby knees, but Mathias had had a fencing sword pushed into his hand by a well-payed tutor the moment he was old enough to lift one up, and had the bruises under his sleeves to prove it.

He had apparently waited too long to make his attack, as he narrowly dodged Silas’ incoming stick. The force of the offensive move was too much for the boy however, and he almost immediately fell off the rock. He laughed nervously and regained his balance and Mathias circled around him.

“Well General Silas, I expected a better fight when you challenged me atop your steed, but I guess this will be shorter than I thought,” Mathias called up.

“Ha! Does every warrior in your country talk bigger than they fight, Lord Mathias? Or is it just those among the shogunate?” Silas barked back, twirling the stick around his arm.

Mathias crouched and dove in close to his friend, using his stick to sweep Silas’ feet before he could react.

He raised his head, encouraged, but as he started to straighten up in victory, he felt something hit against the side of his head.  
Silas fell off the rock, gripping his stick in front of him, and he held it up above him as he hit the ground.

Mathias rubbed the side of his head in disbelief. There was a long pause as they both caught their breath.

“…we’ll call it a tie."

“Psh, whatever makes you feel better, Mattie,” Silas said into the dirt before flipping himself over.

The two boys laughed together and Mathias wiped his running nose on his cuff. He kicked off his shoes, digging his heels in the earth, and Silas scooted over and leaned on him.  
His wild hair was still riddled with twigs and gravel, and Mathias found himself unable to stop himself from slowly picking the refuse from his head. Silas rolled his eyes but didn’t make a move to stop him.

“…Is this what its like?” Mathias said quietly.

Silas turned his head to face his friend and Mathias raised his hands out of his hair. Mathias found himself missing the contact almost immediately.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, living out here, getting to come and go as you please? Finding sticks and running wherever you want and just…not worrying about anything."

Silas shrugged. “It gets boring a lot quicker without you here with me. Mother and Father let me go around the town pretty far, but I don’t get to go anywhere really new or exciting, and it does get kinda lonely. What do you do when I’m not around?"

“I’m usually learning the speeches of famous Nohrian generals or doing sword training. Sometimes I get to do my instrument practice, but I usually have to learn war songs, and those all sound the same to me,” Mathias responded glumly.

Silas shook his head. “No, no I mean when you’re not doing any of that junk? Like for fun?"

Mathias looked confused. “Seeing you is what I do for fun, Si. Isn’t it the same for you?"

“Well yeah but-“ Silas responded quickly. “That can’t be all you do, right?"

Mathias fidgeted, looking down. “The guards don’t like it when I look idle. They told me that my father didn’t give me that big fortress to waste time like a lazy Hoshidan peasant."

“You? Lazy? That’s dumb Mattie, you aren’t lazy for wanting to do something fun when you’re stuck in that castle all day! I’m going to tell them that they’re wrong when we go back."

 _'When we go back…’_ The prince felt the pit in his stomach return, stronger since before its absence.  
“DON’T!“ Mathias shouted louder than he had intended. A few crows perched on the rocks above them flew off in alarm. “I mean…uh- they don’t like it when I talk back to them,” his hand subconsciously gravitating toward a covered part of his leg.

“Maybe they’ll listen if I tell ‘em! I’m your best friend, Mattie, they have to know that I know you more than any of them do!” Silas raised his voice.

“It’s not worth it, Si. Thanks…I know you want to help but its just not worth it, okay?” Mathias said with a slight waver in his voice.

“I found out how to get you out here, I’ll figure something out…” Silas mumbled, dropping the question, but refusing to let the thought go.

They sat in awkward silence for a bit, but both soon became enthralled watching a pair of dragonflies fight over a dead water strider. Mathias wondered if there was a nearby creek but said nothing, watching the red dragonfly lose a wing to the more aggressive purple dragonfly as it tried to fly away with its prize.  
It fell and twitched weakly on its back as the purple dragonfly landed and started eating the water strider in front of it.  
Mathias flipped the red dragonfly over with a twig and it crawled away meekly before the purple dragonfly could notice it.

“Aw man, Mattie, I was hoping you’d catch it! Why did you let it go away?” Silas finally said, clearly disappointed.

“What would I do with an almost dead bug, Si? I’m not going to put it in my tunic, that’s gross.” Mathias wrinkled is nose.

“But I brought a- OH! I’m sorry, Mattie, I forgot!” Silas ran over to his rucksack, which was slouched next to their discarded sparring sticks. He pulled out an empty glass jar with a simple wooden lid and sat back down next to Mathias, shoving it in his chest.

Mathias furrowed his brow. “Why are you showing me a kitchen jar?"

Silas huffed. “Its for holding a souvenir, Mattie! I want you to bring something out here back with you so you can remember our great outdoor adventure even when I can’t see you and you’re cooped up in that old fortress."

Mathias eagerly took the jar from his friend’s dirt-caked hands, but the pit in his stomach surfaced once again.

“I really, really don’t want to think about not being able to see you Si,” Mathias said, hugging the jar.

“Then don’t think about that, Mattie!” Silas laughed. “Geez, you worry about things that haven’t even happened yet, I don’t get it."

He put his hands on top of the jar. “Think about today, and about how next time you see me we’ll have even more fun. Don’t think of the empty space between now and then- that’s why I brought this for you, because you need a little help thinking bout good things sometimes."

Mathias felt a warmth in his chest and the tips of his ears felt hot against the late summer wind. He smiled and looked at Silas, and back down at the jar.

“If I’m going to put this somewhere I can look at it everyday, I want one of those neat rocks you picked out under the oak tree over there."

Silas perked up but tried to play it cool. “Oh those things? They aren’t that great, I just saw that they have some cool colors when you hold them up to the sky, are you sure you don’t want to find something you’d like better?"

“No way, they’re totally something that I can look at and think of you!” Mathias said. “As long as you don’t mind giving me one,” he added quickly.

Silas sprang to his feet at the first sign of validation. “There’s this really neat one you’ll love that’s shiny and black with these little sparkly white lines circling around it- wait right here!”

The boy ran enthusiastically over the hill, leaving Mathias to sit alone.

  
He closed his eyes and listened to the hum of insects and the rustling of dry grass around his feet. The wind was picking up and Mathias looked at the heavy grey clouds that seemed to hang perpetually over the valley of the Northern Fortress at the end of the short sunny season. They would likely get rain soon, and the hills would look green for a few weeks before the cold came back. He hoped that he and Silas could stay out long enough to feel the rain. He wondered if the smell of rain on they dirt was any different from when it fell on the stone sill of his bedroom window.

He realized that it had been a few minutes since Silas had run off, and he stood up in search of his friend. The oak tree wasn’t more than fifty paces from where he was standing, and he couldn’t imagine what would take him so long.

He picked up the jar and walked in the direction Silas ran off in.

_“No sirs, Prince Mathias is still in the castle. He and I were done for today so I left."_

Mathias heard Silas’ voice; which was higher-pitched than usual. Who was he talking to?

Soon after he saw the oak where Silas had run off to, he made out the tips of the pointed helmets of two of the fortress guards, crouched over Silas. Mathias gasped and clutched the jar tightly, diving behind a bush without thinking.

_“You’re the Bedivere’s kid, right? Did those sniveling, governor parents of yours teach you to lie? Because you’re shit at it."_

_“Yeah, We heard him yelling from the courtyard, you think we’re thick?”_

_“He’s not here okay? You probably heard me out here, I tripped and scraped my knee while I was running along the side of the courtyard wall._

There was a stretch of silence as Mathias heard distant footsteps pacing around the tree. He wanted desperately to make sure Silas was alright, but didn’t dare move from his spot. If Silas was caught lying, there was no telling what they would do to him.

_“I dunno Gernot, looks like the brat was just messing around out here on his own, I don’t see anything."_

_“If we return and the prince is still missing, our heads may as well be on pikes, Curis. Now be quiet, I’m looking around."_

_“Hey! Put down my rucksack!”_ He heard Silas shout.

_“So...tell me, kid, who’s shoes are these under your bag"_

Mathias felt his stomach drop.

_“They’re um..uh...fine, you got me. I-I stole the prince’s shoes. I knew that some of the kids in town would give me sweets if I took them. He has lots of them, and he never seems to wear them. I, ah, was sure he wouldn’t miss one or two."_

_“Nice cover, you little rat. Now he could be long gone by now, sure, but I’m going to make you squeal until you’re begging to tell me where he went. And after that, we’ll let your lowborn parents see what happens when they raise a liar and a filthy traitor to the crown when they see you hanging in the street."_

_"Gods, Gernot, I know you’re trying to scare the little twerp, but do you even know if he’s lying?"_

_“Curis, do you want to report to Garon’s other royal brats when they find out he's missing and we come back with nothing? Because I certainly do not."_

_“Yeah, okay, point taken. Alright kid, stop being difficult and we’ll only rough you up a little bit."_

Mathias dropped the jar, and a long crack went up the side of it. He ran out of the bush and stood in front of Silas. “Don’t touch him! He didn’t do anything, this was my fault, please just let him go home,” Mathias screamed, his voice cracking.

“I fucking knew it!” Gernot shouted, yanking Silas by the back of his shirt. His eyes went wide and he started grasping at his collar as it cut off his airways.

The other guard sneered and bent over at Mathias' eye level. “Playing these little tricks again, Prince Mathias? Didn’t figure out that your actions have consequences the first time, did you?” Curis sighed. “I was about to vouch for your friend here too.” He kicked the rucksack with his boot, and Silas’ map of the castle unfurled on the ground.

“And a kidnapper too, no less? I’m very sorry, my prince, but conspirators against the wellbeing of the crown must be executed on the spot, I’m sure you would understand if you had listened to us when we caught you in the basement last week. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson if you see how it can affect others.”

“NO! No- I promise I won’t do it again, just please don’t do anything to him!” Mathias sobbed.

Gernot raised his spear at the small boy’s neck, while Curis held the thrashing prince back. But before they could do anything, a gruff, booming voice called behind them

“Prince Mathias! Silas! The Nohrian Royal Family has graced us with a visit- prepare yourself to greet them immediately.”

Gernot dropped Silas in surprise, and he started coughing violently as the wind returned to his lungs.

The two guards stood at attention, but Curis kept a hand firmly held on each of the boys’ arms.

“Captain Gunter, sir, we located the missing prince. His delinquent friend forced him out of the safety of the castle, and created a map that could greatly threaten the security of our fortress. You know as well as any of us what the penalty for such treason is,” Gernot said.

“Thank you both for finding our missing prince, I’m sure the rest of the guard will be so relieved to see that he is safe. Now if you would excuse me, I must prepare them both for what was something of an unexpected visit from Ladies Camilla and Elise, and Lords Xander and Leo. They have requested the presence of both of them, and I do not want to keep our Lords and Ladies waiting a second longer than necessary.”  
Gunter looked the two boys up and down with a sharp eye. “And they certainly look like they could both use a good washing before they see anyone. Come along, you two."

Silas and Mathias tried to break free of the guards’ grip to follow Gunter, but they didn't let go.

“Captain Gunter, are those ears of yours finally failing you? We were all ordered, by the king himself to execute anyone who attempts to endanger the prince by helping him escape the fortress!"

“Don’t regurgitate rules at me like I’m some sort of forgetful old fool, Curis. I’ve been at this a lot longer than you have," Gunter spat back. "And with my experienced eye, all I see are two boys who simply got lost wandering the edge of the courtyard, and a much-loved amateur art project the two of them brought for hunting treasures. Surely you had similar hobbies in your boyhood?"

“Captain Gunter, if you won’t take this seriously, perhaps we should take this up with King Garon himself? That governor’s kid is a serious danger, and you’ve let the prince go on long enough without learning what happens when he does such careless things.” Gernot insisted.

Gunter slammed him against the tree, and the sound of metal-on-metal rang through the air as he swiftly unsheathed his sword from its scabbard.  
“Tell me, Gernot, who do you think you would answer to the quickest right now; his highness, King Garon?"  
Gunter put the ornate, silver blade at the man's throat, and a few drops of blood ran down its length.  
“Or me?” he growled.

Gernot grunted, his face contorted in a defeated scowl. Curis had his hand on his spear behind the two of them, but looked hesitant to confront the guard captain, or to let the boys go. Gunter let the writhing man go and cracked his neck.

“I will be the judge of what consequences befall these two."

He glared icily at Curis' arm, and the guard reluctantly released Mathias and Silas, who immediately ran to Gunter's side.

The guard captain paced slowly back and forth between the two men. “And if I hear absolutely anything about you taking more liberties with your roles as guards and reporting this directly to the King, I will tell him myself of how the both of you deliberately violated my authority, and we shall see who he believes. Understood?"

“…understood.” The two guards mumbled together.

Gunter snapped his head around.

“I’m sorry, what was that? My old, failing ears couldn’t hear you!”

“Understood, _sir_."

“That’s what I thought I heard. Now since you did such a good job on patrol today, I’d like both of you to do double shifts around the entire castle tonight, one of you circling the parameter one way, and one in the opposite direction. Since the two of you seem so concerned with the safety of our beloved fortress."

The two of them glared pointedly at Gunter but went their separate ways.  
“Rookies,” Gunter grunted.

He looked down at the two boys, who were still visibly shaken and gestured toward the fortress. “I wasn’t lying, you know, the royal family is waiting in the drawing room and I do not want to keep them waiting. Are either of you hurt?"

They looked at each other for a moment and shook their heads from side to side.

“Good.”

Gunter walked along the side of the stone wall and stopped around a corner. Silas and Mathias walked quickly after him and saw him open a small wooden door with a large iron-wrought key. The hinges creaked in resistance as he opened the door, and he stepped inside.

Silas mustered up the courage and ran after the stern knight. “Mister Gunter, sir!” he said finally.

“Quickly, Silas, we do not have all day."

“I um, want to get my rucksack back there, it had all my things in it. Can’t we go back? I’ll be quick, I promise!”

“Get inside, Silas."

“But-"

“I will not ask again, Silas. Now.” Gunter said. “Lord Mathias, if you are waiting for the grass to grow, you will be disappointed, now get in here."

Mathias startled and shuffled inside, and Gunter closed the door behind them immediately. He struck a torch on the side of the wall and placed it in a sconce, illuminating a small cellar with a narrow, winding staircase in front of them. He crouched to the boys’ eye level, and his sharp, aged face looked gaunt and worried next to the dim reflection of the firelight.

“Now I will ask again. Are either of you hurt?"

“No sir.” they said together, shoulder to shoulder and more than a bit confused.

“Good,” he sighed under his breath and some of the wrinkles in his brow faded. After a moment, however, they returned.  
“Now I need the both of you to listen very closely, alright? You are to clean yourselves up quickly and greet the royal family properly. Do not tell anyone in the castle about what happened, understand?"

“Why?” Mathias blurted out.

Gunter took him firmly by the shoulders.

“What the two of you have done today is far worse than you know,”

Silas and Mathias looked fearfully at each other.

“I am not mad at either of you. Silas, I know that you were only trying to help Lord Mathias.” Silas nodded sincerely in confirmation, but remained fixated on Gunter.  
"But you need to understand that there could have been dire consequences if I had not found you when I did. Those guards would have been following their king’s orders if they did…what they were about to do. And next time, I won’t be able to stop them."

Silas clutched Mathias' arm, and the boy’s lip quivered.

“I will do what I can to get back both of your things, but I need you to just take a deep breath and go up those stairs. Silas, meet me in the foyer after you greet the royal family. I will have a letter for your parents prepared. After you leave here, go directly to them and make sure no one else sees it."

“Will Silas be okay, Gunter?” Mathias said between sniffles.

Gunter took off an armored glove and pulled out a kerchief, gently wiping the young prince’s eyes and nose and stashed it away in his black armor.

“Silas will be okay Lord Mathias, and if the Divine Dragon wills it, so will you."

Gunter stood up and put his glove back on, falling back into his stern, formal demeanor.

“Go up these stairs and through the kitchens- there are two hot baths next to the lower guest bedrooms drawn for the both of you. If I spot much as a speck of dirt behind those ears, I will see to it that neither of you get cookies with your tea for the rest of the week.” He said with a frown, raising his eyebrow.

The threat of a dessert-less week jumpstarted the both of them again, and they flew up the stairs, as Gunter slowly followed them into the back kitchen room and locked the small door behind him. Mathias saw him push a few sacks of flour in front of it put of the corner of his eye, but did not dare turn back around. 

* * *

 “Oh my goodness, Xander, hold Elise for me I simply have to shower Mathias with hugs and kisses!” Camilla swiftly placed the small child carefully but firmly into Xander’s unwilling hands and he grunted in surprise.

  
Mathias and Silas were dressed in clean-pressed clothes, and even Silas’ eternal bedhead looked fairly well-managed. Both boys were rosy-cheeked from the heat of their baths.

  
Mathias braced himself for the incoming avalanche of affection, and Camilla swept him up effortlessly, giving him small pecks all over his face.  
“Agh, Camilla!” Mathias giggled, turning his face away from the onslaught but hugged her tightly in return.

Xander chuckled to himself and readjusted the child in his arms so that he could gently push Leo forward, who was until then, clutching his older brother’s leg and giving the boys a seething glare.  
“Go on Leo, say hello to your brother."

Mathias looked expectantly at him from Camilla’s arms, but Leo shot a dirty look at Xander for nudging him and did not move from his position.

Xander scoffed and chuckled to himself. “Come now, Leo, don’t be so difficult, what happened to that thing you wanted to show him?” Xander looked at Mathias apologetically. “He’s been talking nonstop about showing you what he learned on his own in the last year whenever Camilla and I had to bring him to the front."

Leo blushed and looked at the floor, his small hand clutching what appeared to be a book of cantrips.

Mathias pried himself away from Camilla and walked over to his younger brother expectantly. The small boy looked up at him and silently opened the book. He waved a hand and small flowering vines twirled around his fingers, before they fizzled out, leaving a few petals to fall to the ground.

“Woah, Leo that’s amazing!” Silas blurted out, and Xander and Camilla turned to look at him, clearly forgetting the prince's loyal friend until he had spoken. Mathias looked to Silas and back to Leo, nodding fervently in agreement.

“Ah Silas, forgive us for ignoring you,” Xander said, adjusting the sleeping Elise nestled in his arms. Camilla walked over to him and went to his eye level. She tousled his messy hair and gave his shoulder a tight squeeze.

“Thank you so much of being such a good friend to our little prince. I would be worried sick about him getting lonely if I didn’t know you were there for him.”

Silas’ face went beet red and he looked away from the older girl. “It-it’s nothing Lady Camilla. Mattie- uh, I mean M-Mathias is my best friend so um…” he trailed off as he looked at her smiling face.

Mathias felt a pang of jealousy as he saw Silas’ reaction to his sister’s words, and turned his attention to Leo. The small prince was calmly putting his book away, but his face looked hungry for more approval as the rest of the family briefly turned their attention to Silas.

“That was really good Leo, I hope you show me more of your tricks while you’re visiting,” Mathias encouraged.

The small boy huffed and crossed his arms. “It’s not ‘tricks’, Mathias, its real magic, an’ father said that if I get good enough, I’ll get to fight real Hoshidans with him using Bur- Brinn”

“Brynhildr?” Mathias offered.

“Yeah, Brynhildr,” Leo said. He pointed a small finger at Mathias’ chest. “So you better get ready to bow down to me, brother, ‘cause I’m going to be a real war general soon!”

Camilla turned and clicked her tongue “Oh, Leo honestly. We’re only going to be here for a night, could you please be nice?”

Mathias frowned and looked at each of his siblings. “Only a night? Why? Can’t you stay longer?”

Xander sighed and gently pulled Elises’ chubby hands from his face. She had woken up at some point and was clearly getting tired of being held, taking her boredom out on Xander’s curly strands of hair. “I’m sorry Mathias, we’re actually on our way to the Eastern front. Camilla and Leo wanted to take a detour before we left Nohrian territory-“

“Did not! I wanted to go see the battles.”

Camilla looked at him bemusedly “That’s not what you said on the way here, Leo.”

Leo’s face went red and he went back behind Xander's legs.

Camilla laughed quietly and turned back to her older brother. “And don’t pretend that you didn’t want to stop in to see our little prince as well, Xander.”

Xander cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I just want to make sure father doesn’t think we are meandering on our way to the front lines. You know how it is.”

Actually Mathias did not know how it was. He could count on one hand how many times in recent memory that he had spoken with his father, but Xander looked mildly anxious, so he could only assume that his siblings’ presence was very much needed at the Nohr/Hoshido border.

“Can't Elise and Leo stay? They shouldn’t be put where its dangerous anyway, right? I could watch them while you guys fight- I promise. Silas could even help me!" Mathias offered. Silas perked up at at hearing his name, and nodded fervently in agreement.

“No way, Mathias, I’m a real fighting prince, I’m not staying in this stuffy old castle!” Leo shouted.

Camilla shot him a warning look that made him quickly clam up, but his cheeks were still puffed when he buried his head back in his book.  
She looked to almost consider the offer for a moment, but she smiled sadly and kissed Mathias on the forehead. “You’re very sweet to offer, Mathias, but father wanted them there too. I know his orders don’t always make sense, but we have to trust that he knows what is best for our family, and for Nohr.”

Mathias nodded sadly and hugged her waist.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, your ladyship, but if you are ready to settle in for the night, I must send young master Silas off now. Young Lord Mathias will also go to bed soon, I should think.” Gunter called from behind them.

“Ah Gunter, never a day off the books for you, even in present company?” Camilla said pleadingly.

He nodded sternly. “Not if I can help it, milady.”

“Well then, we’ll all have a lovely breakfast tomorrow before we leave. And maybe if you wish us luck, we’ll see you on our way back sooner than you think, Mathias,” Camilla said with a wink.

"I will make the necessary preparations for your departure tomorrow, my lords and ladies,” Gunter paused and looked down at Mathias and Silas. “Lord Mathias, why don’t you be a good host and say a proper goodbye to Silas before he leaves today?”

Mathias looked up at the knight, puzzled. Usually Gunter would usher his friend out one of the side entrances when he had had enough of their shenanigans, but he obliged, and lead Silas back to the entryway. Gunter followed behind them at a comfortable distance- out of earshot as far as the boys were concerned.

“How’s your neck, Si?” Mathias said.

“S’all right. Kinda sore, but a lot better after that bath.” Silas rubbed his throat absentmindedly. “Guess we’ll have to be cleverer next time huh?”

“I- I don’t think there’ll be a next time Si. What if Gunter was telling the truth when he talked to us in the cellar? What if you had gotten hurt?" Mathias looked like he was on the verge of tears yet again.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, Mattie.” Silas crossed his arms and flashed a toothy grin. “I’m going to see you outside that wall again one way or another. Mark my words!”

Mathias giggled and wiped some residual snot from under his nose.

“Lord Mathias, why don’t you prepare for bed?” Gunter said as he caught up with the two boys, holding a dirty rucksack in his gloved hand. "Silas, I found your bag, and the letter we discussed is inside. Please tell your parents to contact me, and only me if they run into any problems.”

Silas’ face lit up at seeing his bag intact but looked confused at the way Gunter spoke about this letter. “Thank you- but what does the letter say, sir?”

The old knight pursed his lips and handed the boy his rucksack. “I think it would be best if your parents told you themselves after they have read it. Don’t worry, I did not tell them you are in trouble but, well, you will find out soon enough.”

Silas rummaged around in the bag and back up at Gunter. “Did you see a jar out there when you got this? It was supposed to be a gift for Mathias”

“I’m afraid not, Silas. Now come along, theres a wagon to take you back today. It’s much too dark for you to be walking back alone.”

“Okay…” he said glumly, and shuffled out the door. Gunter ushered him toward a horse-drawn wagon carrying nothing but empty burlap sacks and the odd box or barrel. Silas turned back toward the castle entrance once more and waved to Mathias as the wagon started to move.  
He waved back until he could no longer see the carriage, but could still hear the echoes of squeaky wheels hitting the gravel road.

Gunter closed the door and look down at the young prince, who looked crestfallen at his friend’s departure.

“Come on now, Lord Mathias, you’ve had a long day and getting you up early for breakfast will be hard enough as it is. Off to bed with you.” the old knight said softly.  
Mathias walked quietly past Gunter and past Camilla, who was watching from the back of the foyer. She affectionately tucked some hair out of Mathias' face on his way up and watched him go up the main staircase.

“How far did they get this time?” she asked Gunter. 

“All the way out of the castle, milady. I am lucky to have found them when I did.”

“I saw the marks forming on Silas’ neck.” She shook her head and crossed her arms. “I know he’s just trying to keep him safe but…sometimes I wonder at reasoning behind Father's strict methods.”

Gunter’s stern brow twitched. “His highness King Garon certainly works in ways that we cannot always fathom, milady.”

“Mmm.” Camilla looked toward the front door pensively.

“Well, I suspect you are tired from your journey from the capital, milady. The maids have drawn a bath for you and prepared a room. You’re still young as well, and need as much rest as the prince.”

Camilla sighed defeatedly. “You never loose an opportunity to be an old taskmaster, do you Gunter?”

He smiled coyly as he walked toward the kitchen. “Not if I can help it milady,” he said once again.

“Where are you going?” Camilla called over her shoulder as she ascended the staircase.

“I’m afraid I need to look for a misplaced item.”

She shrugged and continued up the staircase, her mind directed toward the inviting prospect of a bath.

* * *

 The next morning, Mathias was woken up by a servant as dawn hovered below the horizon. Breakfast was a groggy affair for all the siblings, but they talked amongst each other amicably and hovered at the table for awhile until Xander finally insisted that they could not dally any longer. They hugged their goodbyes, and even Leo had to be pried off of Mathias so they could leave.

When the main door finally closed behind them, there was a deafening echo of silence that made Mathias’ ears right slightly. He sniffed a couple of times but decided that he was old enough not to cry every time his brothers and sisters had to leave.

He went back upstairs to his room to watch the sunrise from his window, and found a dirty, cracked jar waiting for him at his windowsill. He gasped with glee and held it up to the light streaming slowly into his bedroom to see the rocks inside glisten and reflect off the glass.

After weeks passed and Silas did not return, he hid it under his mattress, unable to look at it without thinking of his friend who seemingly left him without warning. There it stayed for months, until he forgot about it completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, and this is my own personal HC, I see Xander as being about 18-19, Camilla as 16-17, Leo as 5-7, and Elise as 1 or younger when MU is about 11 or 12, likely before Jakob, Felicia, and Flora were in the picture, since I don't recall any of them acknowledging knowing Silas before he rejoined the army. (correct me if I'm wrong)
> 
> Thanks again for sticking with me, and let me know what you thought of this one if you can! I know its a bit different from the other chapters. 
> 
> Hope you're all being safe- I know its getting pretty hectic out there in the world right now.


	6. An Agreement of Mutual Reluctance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, this chapter is between chapters 14 and 15 in Conquest, so spoilers up to then.
> 
> Content warnings in this chapter are food mentions, death mentions, mentions of bare chests, minor ableist language, sexual references, and I think that’s it? 
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Have our tireless efforts borne some fruit?”_

_“Look at his face, you nimrod. What do you think?"_

_“Well..then...try something else, I don’t know.”_

_“Like what? I’m out of ideas that won’t get us discharged. Or slapped.”_

Mathias stirred and rolled over, pushing the offending noises out of his mind. It was one of the few days that he didn’t have to give out orders, and he would be damned if that meant waking up any earlier than he had to. It had been a hard couple of weeks marching.

_“Allow me to attempt to tear his mind from the realm of dreamers, he is clearly a chosen one; tied to the ethereal plane by a strong and persistent thread.”_

_“I’m pretty sure he’s just a heavy sleeper but yeah, go nuts.”_

_“…..”_

_“Wow. Spectacular work, Odin.”_

_“Okay- you try making up spells on the spot, see how smug you look after tearing into the darkest reaches of arcana and attempting to form something tangible!”_

The prince rolled over to one side and a sleepy grunt escaped his lips.

_“Don’t need to. I’ve got arrows.”_

_*THWAP*_

_“Okay that’s definitely a bad idea.”_

_*THWAP*_

_“Niles, I’m serious.”_

_*THWAP*_

_“Niles you’re going to shoot him in the face!”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not moving nearly enough for me to miss."_

_*THWAP THWAP THWAP*_

_“NILES!”_

Mathias’ eyes opened in shock just as an arrow whizzed past his head and burrowed into the wall behind him.

“See Odin? Can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs,” Niles said, twirling an arrow around his finger.

The prince darted his eyes from side to side. His backboard was pelted with arrows and at the foot of his bed, Odin waved nervously while Niles calmly stowed away his bow.

“WHAT THE FELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!” Mathias shouted as he shot up in the bed.

Odin winced like a scolded puppy, whereas Niles looked nonplussed, walking around the parameter of the bedroom and opening curtains.

“I-I apologize Lord Mathias. Lord Leo requested we bring you to him as quickly as possible and- uh well, you didn’t, I mean-“

“You were sleeping like a corpse, and we were running out of ideas.” Niles finished Odin's sentence, opening a curtain that shone strong sunlight onto the bed and Mathias’ bare chest. The outlaw wolf-whistled through his teeth and Mathias looked around himself furiously for some sheets to cover himself up with.

Odin shot his fellow retainer a dirty look. “ _He_ ran out of ideas. I told him not to, milord, I swear on a stack of tomes.”

Mathias put his face in his hands to shield his tired eyes from the direct sunlight. “Where is Felicia,” he whined into his hands.

“Ah! She’s at breakfast milord,” Odin responded enthusiastically. “We told her that Lord Leo wanted to eat with you privately this morning, so we would take care of sending you his way on time.”

“Of course you did.” Mathias groaned. “Great. Wonderful. Good job. Now get out.”   
He spotted the sheets, which had apparently been yanked away from him at some point, and pulled them up over his head, sinking back into his pillow. 

“I’m sorry milord, but- ah, Leo ordered us to ensure we returned to him with you in tow.”

“Odin, is anyone dying?” Mathias asked from under the covers.

“Well no but-“

“Did an enemy army discover our way into the astral realms and is waiting to storm the fortress?"

“Not currently, no.”

“Then tell Leo it can wait,” Mathias snapped and turned over in the bed, screwing his eyes shut against the oppressive morning light.

Niles stepped over to the bed and cracked his knuckles. “I’m terribly sorry, milord, but Lord Leo’s wishes must always take priority for us. I’m sure you understand.”

“You don’t sound very sorry,” Mathias grumbled from his side of the bed.

Niles scoffed exaggeratedly. “Truly, you wound me milord.” He turned to Odin. “Hey, you still have that tome we found in the back of Lord Leo’s bookshelf?”

“The Disrobing Gale? That seems a little cruel, Niles,” Odin protested, though his fingers were twitching at the prospect of casting magic for frivolous reasons.

“Oh please, I’ve seen you fiddle around with it behind the barracks, it’s barely a sneeze in the right direction,” Niles assured him. “Besides, do you have all day, because I don’t, and neither does Lord Leo.”

Odin sighed and looked at the bed guiltily. “I’m really,  _really_ sorry about this Lord Mathias.”

  
The mage flipped open the book and chanted a few words before dramatically flicking his hand toward the prince. Bursts of wind whipped the bed, blowing the sheets clear off the prince, and knocking him onto the floor.

“ALRIGHT I’M UP!” he shouted from the ground. “Now cut it out before you destroy my godsdamned room!"

Odin shut the book immediately, but did a poor job of hiding the pleased look on his face at the successful result of the spell. Niles walked over to the other side of the bed and picked up the crumpled sheets next to Mathias, who was still sitting on the floor in his smallclothes trying to gather himself. He glared up at the outlaw, who was smiling to himself and neatly folding the sheets.

“How is it that every unpleasant awakening I’ve been having lately has involved you somehow? Please at least do me the courtesy of telling me in advance if I need to brace myself for any more of your bright ideas.” Mathias said, rubbing his temples. 

Niles laughed wickedly and placed the sheets at the foot of his bed. “Where would the fun be in that, milord?” 

Mathias narrowed his eyes and Niles waved a hand dismissively.

“Not to worry, Lord Mathias, I will only come here on an orders-only basis, and that is a promise,” Niles said, offering his hand out to Mathias. He ignored it and picked himself up, dusting off his arms and chest. 

“I humbly thank you for obliging us Lord Mathias, let us now make haste to return to Lord Leo,” Odin said eagerly from the other side of the room.

“Tell me, Odin, do I look ready?” Mathias asked rhetorically, gesturing to his smallclothes.

“Absolutely!” Niles chimed enthusiastically before his fellow retainer could answer. 

Mathias inhaled sharply and walked behind a dividing screen. “You two are going to pull every arrow out of the wall and pick up anything your stupid magic stunt knocked over until I’m ready, and you will both do it in perfect silence. And that’s an order.” 

“I wouldn’t say it was stupid, milo-“

“Odin I swear to gods!” he shouted from behind the screen.

The mage deflated and joined Niles, who was retrieving his arrows from the headboard of Mathias’ bed with an amused look on his face. They heard the splashing of water in a washbasin and clothes ruffling, and the prince emerged a few minutes later with his hair pushed back in place, donning a fresh tunic and pair of leggings. He still looked grouchy, however, and walked out of the treehouse without a word. 

Niles pulled the last few arrows out of the wall and slipped them into his quiver, following Mathias out the door. Odin suddenly realized he was the only one still in the treehouse and scurried after them.

* * *

“If I may be so bold milord, are you not much of a morning person?” Niles asked sweetly as he met up with the prince’s fast gait.

“I’m actually not much of a ‘get woken up by two morons launching projectiles in my private quarters person', oddly enough,” Mathias responded flatly, looking straight ahead. 

“Oh ho ho, what a turnaround from the prince with the patience of a saint that I thought I had come to know and love!”

Mathias stared at him with an unamused expression. “I thought I was ‘ _too uninteresting_ ’ for you.”

Niles shrugged. “Orders are orders, milord. Lord Leo says ‘jump’ I say 'how high’. Although, now that I know that a bit of interrupted sleep is all it takes to see you snap, I at least know you can put on a good show for me,” he said with a sneer.

Mathias breathed in slowly and exhaled as they walked across the green. “Niles, please. I’m really not in the mood.”

Niles gave him a pouting face in response. “His lordship must forgive me for not putting his feelings into account for tearing him away from his nice, soft bed. I will consider your needs before anyone else's in the future."

Mathias whipped his head to the side, about to yell at the outlaw, but remembered Odin walking a few feet behind them. “Do you remember when I insisted that there was good in you?” he whispered as he leaned his head close to the other man.

“Hmm, maybe? Vaguely? Your words tend to go straight through my empty commoner head,” he lied.

“Well I changed my mind and you win. You are a vile, petty, sadistic person who lives only to annoy others in order to feed some sort of convoluted superiority complex you have. And you are.  _By far_. The worst part of my day whenever I am unlucky enough to run into you,” Mathias hissed.

Niles smiled widely and put his hands over his heart. “Oh my, Lord Mathias, you’ve reduced me to a blushing virgin with your words! Frankly I don’t know what to say except that I’m just so happy that you finally understand who I really and truly am inside.”

He had been waiting eagerly for Mathias to give up on him, and he clearly wanted him to know it.

Mathias pushed his head closer and shook a finger at Niles’ face. “You're damn lucky you’re good at firing arrows and keeping my brother happy, Niles, or I would hurl you out of the astral portal myself.” he growled through his clenched teeth. 

Niles smug expression quickly faded and he narrowed his eye, closing the gap between their foreheads. “And _you’re_ fucking lucky you have nicer people than me looking after your pampered ass, or _I_ would laugh as soon as the first knife got buried in your spine.”

“Well then I feel so blessed to know that I don’t need to count you in that group of people to continue living my life,” Mathias spat back.

“I’m glad we can finally agree on something, _milord_ ,” Niles retorted.

“Uh, hey are you guys done angrily whispering to each other?” Odin called from behind them, pointing toward the records hall. “Because Lord Leo’s quarters are that way.”

Mathias straightened his posture and cleared his throat, smiling warmly at the mage. “Yes, Odin, I apologize for being so rude. And thank you for being helpful, I know you are simply following orders."

Niles rolled his eye at Mathias’ difference in tone with the other retainer, and snorted loudly. Though he refused to admit that he was slightly embarrassed that bickering with the prince demanded enough of his attention for him to momentarily forget the direction they were going in.

“Think nothing of it milord! I would be caught off guard in your situation as well.” Odin admitted, relieved to see that the prince at least seemed to be no longer angry with him for pinning him to the floor of his own room with wind magic.

‘ _Well, at least Odin can acknowledge it_ ,’ Mathias thought to himself, and awkward silence fell between the three of them as they walked.

Niles waited for Odin to fall out of step with them again and leaned over to whisper in Mathias’ ear.

“Oh gods help me, what now?” Mathias groaned. 

“Did that little spat get you going at all because I have definitely never hated, or been more turned on by you than I am right now,” Niles purred. 

Mathias shot him a look of disgust. “You have a problem, you know that?”

Niles leaned back and laughed loudly at the remark. “Just one? Gods be praised!” he exclaimed, and Odin looked over at him in confusion at what sounded like a sudden outburst. Before Mathias could respond, the outlaw stopped in front of a side entrance attached to the record hall library and swung the door open, gesturing inside.

“Princes first,” he said, quirking an eyebrow. 

Mathias walked past him without making eye contact, and Odin shuffled through the door before Niles closed the it behind them. 

As Mathias’ eyes adjusted to the dim light, he made out a long, narrow room with tall shelves full of tomes he didn’t even know the castle had. Since Leo had rejoined them, Mathias had not stepped foot in the space that he had decided to take for himself, thought in the small amount of time, the other prince had certainly put his personal mark all over the room.

Most of the tables were pushed together to accommodate several heavily marked maps splayed out on top of each other and a miscellany of books Leo had left piled here and there. Behind one of the shelves, Mathias could make out a sloppily made bed and washbasin, and even more books and pieces of parchment rested at the foot of the bed. He assumed that his brother had some method to the chaos of paper that seemed to fill the room, but it was certainly lost on him.

Leo was sitting at a table under a tall window looking out at the mountains beyond the water-bound fortress, and he stood up as he heard the door shut. 

“Good morning Mathias, thank you for joining me,” he said warmly.

“Doesn’t seem like I had much of a choice, Leo,” Mathias remarked as he took a seat. He looked at his brother expectantly.

Leo calmly sat back down and poured both of them some tea. “I’m sure you would have preferred to sleep in a bit, if my reports of your progress have been correct,” he said and took a sip.

Leo had not been wrong. Notre Sagesse was just the tip of their iceberg, and it seemed that every time he reunited with his father with good news, the stakes had been pushed higher against him. He felt his grip on his moral wellbeing slipping steadily every time he closed his eyes and saw the fires of war lick over the tiled roofs of Cheve, or felt the clear-ringing screams of the singers in Cyrkensia that had not escaped in time. Even Elise, who had not been showing symptoms for at least a month after their encounter in Macarath, was still not eating nearly as much as she was before her illness, much to the chagrin of Effie.

Though Camilla had been picking up much of Mathias’ slack in maintaining the wellbeing of their slowly growing army, she shared with him a distaste for planning for all possible outcomes, bad or good. Both of them were extremely relieved that Leo was able to join them and fill a much needed hole in their constant balancing act between fulfilling their father’s wishes and preventing atrocities from being committed in the name of the Nohrian flag. 

If the state of his room was indicator, Leo was already planning the details of their next move despite the fact that just the day before they were evacuating the last of the singers without alerting either King Garon or Iago to their plans. Mathias was still having trouble swallowing his father’s harsh words and disregard for human life the night they arrived in the Nestran city. Leo’s fresh perspective and foresight was welcome, if not sometimes inconvenient for Mathias’ limited free time.

“You have something in mind, please just tell me Leo. I’m sorry to be brash, but I did not have the most gentle awakening this morning,” Mathias said.

“I suppose that is my fault, Mathias. When I sent them to retrieve you, I told Odin and Niles that you’re not the easiest person to wake up. They both suffer from overactive imaginations and I’m guessing they just ran with it.” Leo looked pointedly in the retainers’ direction. Odin lowered his head guiltily and Niles pretended to be very interested in one of the maps on the table. “I will make sure to give them more...detailed instructions next time.”

Mathias swallowed a bite of scone and looked at his brother incredulously. “Next time?”

Leo took a sip of tea and placed his cup on the table. “These small breaks in action we have are valuable, Mathias. Since coming to join you, I’ve been taking note of the nature and parameters of this castle-like facility you have at your disposal, and its quite impressive. I want to make full use of its access to amenities and its opportune location, and I want you to as well.”

“I’ve been doing my best here, Leo. I don’t exactly have all the time in the world to keep the army trained between marches,” Mathias responded.

Leo looked out the window and back at his brother. "I’m not talking about the army. I’m more concerned about you,” he said carefully.

Mathias frowned and put down his plate. He crossed his arms but said nothing, apprehensive for his brother to continue.

“I have been keeping informed with your progress, and I am relieved how well you have been handling things thus far,” Leo started.

“But?” Mathias interjected.

“But you have been thrown in this a lot faster than any of us have, including Elise. We have all been seeing war since we were small children, Mathias, and you spent the majority of your years kept behind quiet stone walls. I’m concerned that if you do not prepare yourself, both mentally and physically for what is to come, you will break.”

Mathias furrowed his brow. “Then what was I doing all those years of training in the Northern Fortress for? You know damn well that I was allowed to do little else."

Leo shook his head. “As much as I hate to be the one to tell you, Mathias, this is different. I’m sure you are already noticing the toll its taking on you."

"Who have you been getting your reports from? Camilla? Your retainers? Someone else?” Mathias responded defensively. If he was starting to look weak in front of anyone in the army, even within his family, he was unsure of how much control he would have when he truly needed it.

“That doesn’t matter,” Leo said immediately. 

Mathias saw a cape move into the shadows out of the corner of his eye and he suddenly noticed that Odin was the only one of Leo’s retainers that was still within eyeshot. ‘ _Figures_ ’ he thought to himself. 

“What matters is that you must learn to think effectively in the face of danger, or else all of that training will be completely useless,” Leo continued, lowering his voice. “I don’t want to scare you, Mathias, but you what you heard from father that night is nothing new from him. I can only imagine that he has some goal in mind that we can't understand, but the longer this goes on, the more he will throw at you- and his tests do not come with a safety net.”

Mathias swallowed hard.

“We will not always be able to have your back, brother, and certainly not for lack of wanting,” Leo confided. 

His brother was never one for fretting needlessly, so if he was worried, Mathias knew he would be a fool not to heed his warnings. He briefly grazed his fingers over his scarred shoulder, and the touch tingled strangely on the tight, healing skin. Leo was absolutely right, he was completely out of his league, and Mathias suspected that this offer would be the closest thing Leo would ever come to extending a touching gesture.

“I hope that I’m there for the day that you’re finally wrong about something, Leo, because I’m going to throw a ball in your honor,” Mathias said.

Leo rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Is that a yes?”

Mathias sighed defeatedly. “Yes, thank you for your help, gods know I need it.”

“Excellent, I’m glad you understand," Leo said.

“On one condition, though, we keep this under wraps. If the army finds out that their commander has to have special training to keep himself from soiling his armor on the battlefield, I suspect morale will take quite a beating,” Mathias insisted.

Leo nodded grimly in return. “I think that’s a wise decision." 

“Dare I ask what we'll be doing?” Mathias asked.

“Oh, I won’t be the one teaching you, Mathias, though I will certainly be overseeing your progress. I’m afraid that even I am too accustomed to safety to properly teach you what you need to know. Besides, I’m too sentimental to be a proper instructor for you.”

‘ _Gods_ ,’ Mathias thought nervously as he started eating again. ‘ _If Leo is considered too soft to train me I can only imagine what kind of person he has in mind_.’

“Naturally, Niles will be your teacher,” Leo declared, and Mathias suddenly choked on his food. Leo waited for him to finish coughing.   
“Is there a problem?” Leo said, an eyebrow raised in puzzlement.

“N-no its just,” Mathias quieted his voice in case the outlaw could hear him. “If we’re picking retainers, why not Odin?” he asked.

Leo shook his head definitively. “Odin is undoubtedly a skilled mage, but he is not nearly as alert as Niles is. Do you know anything about Niles’ past in the capitol?”

“He’s uh- told me a bit,” Mathias alluded. Though Niles had not told Mathias about his past so much as he had threatened him with it.

“Niles was abandoned as a child, and spent most of his childhood watching his back for murderers and cutpurses, to say nothing of the time he spent as one himself,” Leo explained. 

The fact that Niles did not have parents was certainly news to Mathias, but he had heard grisly stories of the Windmire underbelly, and unfortunately he couldn't say he was surprised. 

“He is very much accustomed to being a victim of circumstance and wears adrenaline like a second skin. I believe that his natural skill for underhanded tactics and survival is a perfect fit for our needs,” Leo said, and looked at Mathias inquiringly. “You seem hesitant, is there some reason you disagree with my choice? Wait- did he do something while I was gone?” Leo rubbed his temples. “What was it this time?"

He considered disclosing more to his brother about the outlaw’s disposition toward him, but he suspected that it would do more harm than good. Niles had done little to truly hurt Mathias’ wellbeing other than occasionally raising his levels of ever-present anxiety and robbing him of a few hours of sleep. Besides, he still owed the man his life.

“Nothing in particular, don’t worry Leo, we just…don’t always seem to get along terribly well,” Mathias admitted. 

Leo rolled his eyes and took another sip of his tea. “You wouldn’t be the first person to tell me that. I can’t say I didn’t seriously reconsider my choice, but I stand by it. He doesn’t get personal and he knows how to get a job done.”

“I’m definitely not doubting his skills, I just wonder if he’ll even agree to train me,” Mathias said. 

“Nonsense, Niles is my retainer and will respect my wishes,” Leo assured him.

“Niles!” Leo called at the bookshelves at the far side of the room. “Stop sulking around and join us, please. I have something I would like to discuss with you.”

Almost instantaneously, the man in question reformed out of the shadows behind his master with an unreadable expression on his face. “Lord Leo?”

“That didn’t take you nearly long enough to get here.” Leo looked at his retainer with annoyance. “You heard most of our conversation then, I take it?”

“I heard enough,” Niles responded curtly. 

“I surmised,” Leo said. “Sit.”

Niles obliged, taking the empty seat in between the two princes, but looking at neither.

“So then,” Leo said, straightening up in his chair and putting his fingers together. “Now that I know that I don’t have to waste time filling you in, I’d like to know your input.” 

 “I think Odin would be a great fit for this task,” Niles quipped.

“Niles, for gods’ sake,” Leo scolded. “Would you take this seriously?”

“Apologies Lord Leo,” Niles said quickly. “Though I do have to agree with our prince here, I don’t believe I am necessarily the best fit for…someone like him.”

‘ _The feeling is mutual, asshole_ ,’ Mathias thought. Almost seeming to read his mind, Niles turned to him and gave him a challenging look. Mathias turned away quickly, focusing again on his brother. 

“Oh, this is a new one,” Leo said, mildly surprised. “Do you have doubts about my decision? If so, I’m genuinely curious to hear them.” Leo did not necessarily sound angry, but Mathias noticed an unspoken weight that the question put between the two of them.

“Of course not Lord Leo. Your judgement, as always, is airtight,” Niles said begrudgingly.

“So you have no practical objections to my request?”

“Only that I will not be as able to spend as much time protecting you as I would like, Lord Leo,” Niles responded.

Leo nodded. “Your diligence, as always is greatly valued, Niles. Worry not, this isn't a permanent arrangement, and I will still be your primary charge. Naturally, I can compensate you for the increase in demand that I am asking of you."

“It is not necessary, Lord Leo, but certainly appreciated,” Niles acknowledged humbly. 

Mathias knew that Niles respected his brother, though he doubted that he would ever get accustomed to the stark difference in the way that he spoke to Leo. It seemed out of place for someone as naturally callous as the retainer.

“Now then, since we are all on the same page,” Leo said. “Niles, what do you think would be an appropriate place to begin?”

Niles shook his head and sized up Mathias. “I need a test of sorts to see where we need to start,” Niles decided. “Milord, are the mountains on the other side of the water reachable from here or is it a projection? I’m afraid I’m not terribly well-versed in any of this astral claptrap.”

“What do you have in mind?” Mathias asked suspiciously. “Can’t we just go back through the portal and into the wilds surrounding Cyrkesnia?”

Niles looked back at him like he was stupid. “And risk running into the remaining Hoshidan scouts that fled the city the other night? No, for the sake of discretion, this place is ideal.”

“Fine, fine,” Mathias said, and drummed his fingers on his chin in thought. “Well Lilith told me when we first came here that we’re technically in the middle of some sort of lake and that the boats at the edge of the canal can get someone to the other side in about half an hour, but neither of us really know what is out there. Could be anything- bad or good.”

“Perfect,” Niles said with a thin smile, his eye fixated on Mathias. “I will discuss some details of what I have in mind with Lord Leo, and you will meet me at the eastern docks in one hour. Bring whatever you think is necessary.”

“Wait already?” Mathias felt a pit form in his stomach that he presumed wasn’t from the breakfast. “Can’t you give me an idea of what we’re doing? I can’t know what to bring if you don’t tell me anything.”

Niles wagged his finger and a familiar mischievous grin spread across his face. “Ah, ah, ah, milord. Wouldn’t be much of a test if I told you the answers now, would it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really had fun writing this chapter, and I’m excited to get into the meat of this fic. As always let me know if you think there’s anything in particular I should consider tweaking/improving! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. The First Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kind comments and for sticking around! Sorry this took so long, no one told me writing is hard ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter are: food mentions, language, minor injuries, weapons, insects, and fire? I think thats it. Let me know if I missed any.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mathias was starting to have second guesses about his brother’s arrangement.

He drummed his fingers nervously on the side of the boat as Niles moved the oars through the still lake water.  Although he opened his mouth every now and then in an attempt to break the silence, he couldn’t seem to find a thread of small talk that seemed worth pursuing with Leo’s surly retainer. After their little scuffle earlier that morning, he was looking forward to his quality time with the outlaw as little as the Niles was- though the difference, it seemed, between Niles and himself was that the other man was unconcerned with the awkward atmosphere that came with mutual, stubborn silence.

Mathias softly cleared his throat. “Do you need me to take the oars for awhile?” he offered, as the castle docks disappeared from his peripheral.

“Nope,” Niles said, giving the prince an unamused expression before returning to his scan of the horizon.

‘ _Don’t you worry your pretty little head about me. You’ll need all the strength you can get once we hit the shore,’_ Mathias could almost hear him saying.

If he thought that Niles was unpleasant company when he wouldn’t shut up, he was even worse when he was stony-faced and silent. Mathias kept waiting for him to pester him to some degree- “accidentally” splash some water in his face, for example, or make some lewd comment about how they could rock the boat with no one else around. But the only thing that came were long periods of silence, and each minute that passed made Mathias more and more nervous for what the man had in store for him. 

He had certainly made his lack of confidence clear to him when they had reconvened at the docks that morning.

 

_“Really? The giant sword too? You honestly think that would be your best choice in a test of survival and wits.”_

_“Well, I never really go anywhere without it. Why-do you think I should leave it behind?”_

_“What did I tell you, prince? No questions during the test.”_

Mathias had not responded, but he did glare at Niles and strap the Grim Yato to his back, throwing his overstuffed bag into the front of the boat before he clumsily stepped in past the other man and sat down. The spell tome may have been overkill (he doubted he’d even be able to use it properly if he really needed to use it as an emergency flare, or really, for any reason), but he was fairly certain that the food, water, rope, and everything else in his bag couldn't be classified as extraneous. 

There was one more thing he remembered, and Mathias quietly ran his thumb over the cool, jade stone on a chain under his armor. He disliked the dragonstone, and what it did, so he often forgot it was there, but on this particular day, his apprehension made the stone feel heavy and ever-present under his armor. His fingers wrapped around the stone pendant and he adjusted it around his neck nervously.

_“There’s no need for it. Leo wouldn’t put you in danger unnecessarily.”_

He lowered his hand from the chain, but he could not bring himself to remove it- not when the land on the other side of the lake was drawing nearer, and the forest on the other side seemed to stretch wider, and deeper. His companion, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned with the prospect of stepping in an unfamiliar wilderness with little preparation other than a light satchel and some jars with a viscous black liquid inside.

It had been about fifteen minutes since they had pushed off and Mathias kept running through hostile exchanges between himself and the retainer throughout the morning in his head. If Niles was looking to keep him as anxious and riled up as possible before the real test began, he was doing a damn good job of it. 

He sighed and ran his fingers through the cold, glassy surface of the lake, and his concerned reflection lost shape in the ripples of the water. He wiped his hand off on his cloak and glanced back at Niles, who was always looking ahead, pushing and pulling the oars with a practiced rhythm. He wondered if he’d ever know what was going on in that man’s head, or if he even _wanted_ to know. 

But there was something in his expression that Mathias noticed the more he had to be in the outlaw’s presence. Niles looked perpetually bored, but that dark blue eye of his was constantly darting in every direction with alert precision. How did someone become so good at survival? At harnessing and using fear?

His mind flashed back from a few weeks ago in the hot springs.

" _Or have you never had the pleasure of being stabbed viciously and repeatedly in the back?"_

What was he like under all those puckered, white scars? How different would Niles have been had he not been forced to learn all his lessons the hard way? If he didn’t grow up in the slums of Windmire?

Mathias felt a splash of bitterly cold water go down his spine and he straightened his back in shock. At this point, he had no need to look for the culprit. He made a half-hearted attempt at batting away the oar hovering at the base of his neck, but Niles pulled it out of his reach before he could touch it.

“I’m not saying it again, kid. Stop admiring the view and get out of the damn boat,” Niles ordered. 

_Oh so I’m not milord out here, I’m just ‘kid’? Great._

Whatever else there was to the man besides a sadomasochistic streak and a knack for lurking in the shadows was apparently not revealed through patience and trust, as he had learned the hard way, and Mathias knew he was wasting precious time mulling over the motives of his brother’s retainer. He doubted that the other man had spent a fraction of the time thinking of him.

Mathias picked up his bag with and stepped onto the rough sand that met with the lake’s edge. 

The forest was unnervingly silent, and the only thing that Mathias could hear was the soft crunch of Niles’ boots on the shore as he dragged the boat further out of the water. The outlaw slung his bow over his shoulder, tightened the quiver at his side, and walked slowly over to Mathias. 

“Well?” Niles said expectantly, crossing his arms.

“….Well?” Mathias responded cautiously.

“In the time that you were able to leave the boat and I had my back turned, you could have gotten at least a minute head-start on me, but you seem fellbent on making this as boring for me as possible.”

Mathias swallowed nervously. “I don’t understand, you want to just chase me through some astral forest until I fall over from exhaustion?”

“Oh you will fall, milord, but its cute that you think you could outrun me long enough to get tired. But this _is_ the first day of many, I’m sure, unfortunately for both of us.” 

He chuckled to himself and handed the prince a scroll with a simple flare spell written on it.

“From Lord Leo. Don’t use it unless you really need it, and definitely not because I’m the one chasing you.”

_So much for needing that tome then. Don’t suppose Niles would give me a chance to dig that thing out and leave it in the boat._

“Thanks...I’ll keep that in mind,” he mumbled as he put the scroll at his side- close enough to reach at a moment’s notice.

Niles scratched the inside of his ear and he looked at the tree-line in front of them. "I’ll tell you what, milord. I’m feeling nice, so I’ll let you make up that precious time, and I’ll wait right here while you go on your merry way.”

Mathias tightened his grip on his rucksack and glanced back at the forest. He didn’t know something so green and natural could seem so looming and threatening. 

He looked back to wait for Niles’ signal, but the man was simply tapping his foot and looking at him like he was a moron.

“Uh. Go?”

Mathias jumped to attention and ran into the forest, not daring to looking back at what he imagined was a very self-aggrandizing look on Niles’ face.

Branches whipped Mathias’ chest as he weaved through the underbrush, nothing to listen for but his own pounding heart and his increasingly heavy breathing. He really should have packed lighter.

He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, and heard a twig snap behind him. He spun around and his hand automatically went to the flare scroll at his side. 

_“Keep it together, Mathias, we’re just getting started here.”_  

He wiped his sweaty palms on his cloak and re-shifted his bag. There was no way that Niles could have caught up with him, unless he lied about how much time he was going to give him- it had been maybe thirty seconds at the most.  

Though he saw nothing around him, he decided not to wait for the answer and continued his pursuit deeper into the forest, slowing to a jogging pace so that he wouldn’t have to stop as frequently.

* * *

Wiping the cold sweat off his brow, Mathias looked up at the sky filtered through the thick blanket of leaves. It had been at least an hour and still no sign of Niles. 

' _Any minute. I just know it will be any fucking minute,’_  Mathias thought.

He stood still another moment, holding his breath, but only the distant chirping of birds reached his ears.

Cautiously, he took the rucksack off his back and dug in his bag for salted meat. He chewed vigorously on the sinewy bear jerky, and it eased his nerves a bit as he put his bag back on.

Suddenly, an arrow flew through the air and pinned his jerky to the tree before he could take another bite. Mathias scrambled for his sword and unsheathed it, and another arrow ripped a hole in the strap of his bag.

“Really?!” Mathias shouted at the trees, grasping at the satchel to keep it falling off of him completely “couldn’t have aimed for my cape or something!?” 

Mathias frantically searched above him, seeing and hearing nothing but a chilled breeze rattling the leaves above him, and his own pulse pounding in his ears.

In the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a shadow pressed still against a high branch, but it was gone in an instant. Slowly, he slid the bag off his shoulder, but did not dare to move his head, for risk of loosing sight of the trees above him, as if they, themselves could strike him down at any moment.

With careful precision, he unsheathed the Yato from its scabbard, circling his equipment like a cornered animal. The twang of a releasing bowstring behind him tipped him off, and he swung his sword around with all his might- just barely deflecting the arrow with the edge of the blade.

“Not bad, prince!” Niles’ unmistakable voice called out above him for the first time since he had left him at the beach. “Still think you’d look nice with a matching hole on your other shoulder, though,” he said as another arrow whizzed toward his left side. 

Mathias ducked out of the way, but swinging his sword as quickly as he was was quickly tiring him out.

Suddenly it occurred to him why most scouts on the battlefield didn’t tend to favor giant glowing swords.

Mathias caught his breath and gritted his teeth. His adrenaline was rushing to his head once again and he found himself unable ignore Niles’ jab. 

“Why don’t you come down here so I can help you match that homely facial cavity of yours? I’m sure _you’d_ look great with two eye patches!” he shouted back at the trees.

A few birds scattered from the trees as Niles laughed, a booming clear sound that seemed unfitting for someone who favored subtlety. Mathias wagered it was the first time he had heard the man genuinely find something funny, though he had not entirely meant his taunt to be a joke.

“Ha! If you can find a way to get me down here with whatever the fell you thought counted as survival necessities, you can _have_ my other eye, prince,” Niles called back after his laughter had subsided. “I’d be a piss-poor retainer if someone like you’d me in. Now are you going to even try and run, or do I get to keep playing the world’s easiest game of target practice?”

Mathias glanced at his bag for a second, but left it there as he bolted deeper into the forest with nothing but Yato clutched in his hand. The sharp whistle of another arrow flew past his ear and another hit him in the back. Fortunately, it bounced off the plate of his armor, but the force of the hit still left a dull pain on his spine. 

_'Shit! This isn’t working.’_

He dug his foot into the soft earth and made a sharp left turn at full speed, hoping that he was at least enough out of the outlaw’s eyeshot that he could loose him for a few seconds. 

His eye caught a ring of evergreen trees with a large stump in the middle. He could just make out a hollow opening from his angle and dove inside, scattering a few dead leaves outside to cover his tracks. 

He kicked a shelf of mushrooms out of the way so he could lean back in the darkness and close his eyes, letting his chest heave as he tried to calm himself. 

Not a minute later, he felt something crawl down his neck and he jerked in shock, covering his mouth to keep him from yelping.

The afternoon light filling the cracks of the rotting wood above him reflected on something shiny and black at his feet. He frantically hit the ground with the hilt of his sword until he heard a crunching noise. 

He held it up to the light and saw the remains of a large black insect- one he had only recognized from pouring over nature anthologies as a child in the Northern Fortress. 

A beetle- harmless and common based on what he could remember. He swore under his breath for being so easily spooked and wiped it off. Seeing another one, he dug his fingers into the soil to keep himself from yelping, and let it crawl lazily over his hand. It rubbed its back legs together and sat contentedly on the back of his glove. Mathias shuddered a bit and swallowed, but slowly lifted the beetle up to his face in an attempt to dissuade his fears. It looked back at him blankly with beady eyes and he felt himself relax a bit.

_'Guess I don’t have much of a chance out there if I can’t handle you, huh little guy?’_ he thought defeatedly. He had only seen a bug up close a few times, his mind drifting toward an afternoon spent outside the Northern Fortress that had ended very poorly. 

The time that had passed since he left the Fortress had passed in such a desperate flurry, he had scarcely noticed all the things he had already seen that he would fantasize about as a boy. At least he could scratch “see more bugs” off his childhood bucket list. 

The beetle crawled to the tips of his fingers and shifted around a little bit before spreading its wings and flying out one of the crevices in the stump. Mathias now had nothing keeping his mind from wandering, and he realized he should get back moving.

He pushed his feet out of the stump and shimmied his way slowly but surely back outside. Reaching in and pulling out the Yato, wiped the remaining insect remains on some leaves and shook some dirt out of his hair. His joints started aching as he stretched out his limbs and a pang of hunger overtook him. 

The sun was much lower in the sky than he remembered, and he looked around with growing trepidation.

“Okay Niles! You win. We need to get back before it gets too dark."

Mathias’ voice echoed through the quiet forest. 

“C’mon, surely I don’t need to tell you this. We’re done here!”

The wind started to pick up and daylight started retreating from the top of the forest. The only sound Mathias could hear was the rattling of branches and he felt a lump start to form in his throat.

He remembered with dread the supplies that he had tossed to the ground hours ago- he could have used at least half of the things in there now. He also hadn’t seen an arrow, or any sign of Niles, really, in at least a few hours. 

He checked for the flare scroll, and breathed a short sigh of relief when he found it safely tucked into his tunic. 

It occurred to him that this might be part of the test- it wasn’t like Niles had been very transparent with his plans in the first place, and seemed to be getting more and more inventive with how he fucked with the prince. Either way, he was clearly lost, and tried to think calmly about what the outlaw would do in his situation.

He spotted a tall tree with low hanging branches that still had a bit of sunlight dusting its tip and approached it, scanning the trunk for the easiest entry point. He found a suitable branch and hoisted his body up onto it, but felt the weight of his sword pulling him back down toward the ground. He considered leaving it on the ground for a moment, but his mind flashed to how well that went with his other belongings. 

He tried climbing again, but the sword was just too heavy for him to accommodate, and he was quickly running out of daylight.

Hesitantly, he hung the scabbard strap on the tallest branch he could reach from the ground and started his ascent to the top of the tree. 

His foot slipped once or twice, but his arms eventually gripped the highest branch he suspected could support his weight and he pulled himself up. 

His head just barely reached the top of the tree line, but what he could see was the landscape stretching out into the horizon and into a range of mountains that seemed to become blurry and undefined the farther out they went- almost as if they would dissolve if anyone got close enough to them. 

For a moment, he forgot why he was there and just stared at the sea of green surrounding him- it was nothing like the red moss and golden grasses that blanketed the jagged rocks around the Northern Fortress; where even the smallest caravan could be seen for miles as soon as it reached the vast valley. 

Rather, the tall trees surrounding him seemed that they could hide anything, or anyone and he would be none the wiser. He tried to shake off that particular thought and look for any landmark he recognized, finally spotting the outline of the lake. It was a lot farther away than he had imagined and a cloud of dread weighed his thoughts down once again as he accepted that there was absolutely no way that he’d find his way back to the boat before the sun retreated behind the mountains. 

He wondered how long Leo would be able to keep his promise of confidentiality after an entire day had passed with no sign of his return.

A few crows scattered in the trees immediately surrounding him, settling in branches closer to the steadily retreating sunlight, and Mathias looked down. He didn’t see anything, but noticed that his scabbard had fallen off it’s perch and the sword was partially exposed, almost as if something had touched the hilt. 

The silence was deafening, and the cloak of night had finally spread over his head. 

“Consequences be damned _,_ ” he muttered, and riffled hastily through his tunic for the flare scroll. 

He could barely make out a few words in the ancient tongue and racked his brains for the pronunciations he had readily ignored at the hand of an exasperated tutor in his youth. 

Clumsily, he recited the three words he could recognize: “ _Lux Caelum Duro”:_ _light, sky, remain_ , and watched as a blinding glow rose from the parchment and shot up into the air. The entire forest seemed to be momentarily bathed in silver light as the beacon rose higher and higher into the sky.

As the light on the trees retreated, Mathias could not shake the feeling that something was watching him from below. He looked down again, and the Yato had wriggled free from its branch.

It slowly drew itself from the scabbard.

Mathias tried to object, reaching his hand out in futility at the ground, but his throat was unbearably dry. He started climbing down the tree at the fastest pace he could manage, but the Yato was getting dragged,  _somehow,_ farther into the thicket.

_“No. No no no no,”_ Mathias thought with rising panic as he slid down from branch to branch. “ _This is all I have. I can’t. I’m sunk without that godsdamned sword!”_

His foot slipped off a weak branch and he fell flat on his back into the forest floor at full force. His vision blurred, and a deafening ringing filled his ears.

When he opened his eyes, he didn’t see the moonlight filtering through the tall pines, but several faces. They were shrouded in purple smoke and they appeared like they were looking back at him in the reflection of a clear pond. He could only make out their expressionless eyes when the flare flickering in the sky reflected cold light on the sides of their translucent, watery faces.

One of them looked down at him and then to the Yato just out of his reach.

It seemed to gesture behind it and the others started to glide toward him with shimmering weapons. 

Before he could raise his head, his hand darted to the dragonstone around his neck, and then his entire body felt like it was on fire. The sensation that he hadn’t felt since his last day in Hoshido, as though his veins were flooding with water, caused him to all but loose control of himself.

He felt his vision narrow, and the last thing he could remember was a deafening roar escaping his jaws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for the spells, I used three latin words b/c any online mentions of the "ancient language" in the fire emblem universe are not romanized, and there tend to be three "rings" around the feet of a Nohrian spellcaster in any of the FE:Fates model animation. I just took a few liberties with how that might translate to the written word. If there is an in-canon difference that I totally missed, please let me know! It wasn't supposed to be a harry potter thing. Unless you want it to be a harry potter thing. Then it totally was.
> 
> Next chapter is coming very soon, I wrote 7&8 as one chapter but they were getting too long together and I was done editing 7 first. I'm not experienced at writing suspense so if you have any pointers you think would make anything more intriguing/fun to read let me know! 
> 
> Thanks!


	8. Things Unseen, Things Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here's the other half of a long-ass wall of text in my drafts, thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> content warnings for this chapter are: vomiting, non-graphic death, violence, coarse language, minor ableist language, aggressive language, fire, water, and creepy imagery.
> 
> Again, if I missed anything or you ever need me to warn about something in future chapters, you can always let me know!

“Huh. What happened to you?”

Mathias turned to the sound of a voice- Niles’ voice. He blinked a few times until he could make out the retainer’s softly glowing lantern signaling his approach. In all honesty, he had never been more happy to see another person, even if said person was kind of a prick.

He looked down and was relieved not to see metallic claws, but human hands. Dirty, scratched hands, but hands nonetheless. The faint taste of blood in his mouth became oppressive and he spit on the ground and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his armor, before remembering he had yet to address his present company.

Niles raised an eyebrow, silently waiting for an explanation. It appears that he didn't see him transform.

“Er- sorry. I was ambushed and had to use…a backup strategy.” Mathias gathered himself and grimaced at the outlaw. “You were headed in my direction, right? You didn’t see them?”

Niles rolled his eyes. “No, I didn’t see ‘them’,” he said, performing air-quotes with his free hand. “Who are these people that I somehow bypassed spending this entire day in an entirely empty forest, that you happened to run into while wandering in circles?”

“Well-“ Mathias started, but fell silent when he realized that he had no idea who or _what_ it was that attacked him. “I…don’t know. They didn’t speak, and were barely visible- even in the light.” He huffed and started backtracking. “Look, I know it sounds stupid-"

“It sounds incredibly stupid.” Niles interrupted, looking less amused by the second.

“But there were at least ten of them- and for all we know they could be back any minute! You have to believe me!” Mathias exclaimed.

“I don’t have to believe _shit_ , prince,” Niles snapped.

“Niles, you can’t be serious," Mathias pleaded.

He pointed to the tree Mathias had climbed earlier, which was now covered in claw marks. “From what I can see here, you flipped out because you realized it was getting dark, climbed that tree with your tail between your legs, shot the flare off at the top when you saw how far you were from the lake when you realized there was no way you could figure out how to get back, and then slipped on a branch on your way down because you weren't looking,” Niles’ voice was getting steady louder.  
"And after that, instead of using your brain for once, I can only imagine you finally put that glowing sword to use by whittling away at the tree while you waited for me to save you and hold your fucking hand all the way back to the boat!” By the time he stopped, Niles was nearly shouting, and the lantern reflected the open rage on his face.

Mathias felt a lump gather in his throat and his pointed ears felt hot with embarrassment, but he swallowed hard and clenched his jaw. “Really?! You think I was just fucking around here like a child? You see signs of a struggle and your first thought is that I’m just sitting here, waiting for you to dry my soiled breeches? What the fell do you think that roar was? Local wildlife?” he said in a choked voice.

“I don’t know these woods, probably some nocturnal animal. It’s a damned sight more likely than imagining you taking down ten magic ghosts all at once,” Niles retorted.

Mathias huffed. “Okay, when you put it that way, yeah it seems hard to believe. I did fall out of the tree, I’ll give you that-"

“THEN DON’T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE!” Niles yelled as he lifted Mathias up by his collar. The prince's eyes went wide with shock and the forest echoed with the fading sound of Niles’ sharp voice.

He pulled the prince in close, and Mathias instinctively flinched. “I am not your servant. I am not your friend. In fact, if I was still a street rat, I would have killed you where you stood, and gods be damned, I would have _enjoyed it_ ,” he growled. "And if you think for a _fucking second_ that I will tolerate any more of your bullshit, you’re even more of a pathetic waste of space than I thought you were- now let’s go.”

He let go of Mathias’ lapels and the prince stumbled a bit, still shaken. Niles picked his lantern back up and threw the Yato at his feet. Mathias felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes, and thanked the gods that the outlaw had turned his back to him.

Niles wordlessly started walking back into the forest, and Mathias followed him several paces back. His mind was buzzing with anger and shame, and all he could do was glare back at the other man defeatedly.

His dragonstone still felt hot against his chest and his fingers brushed against the lightly burned skin- it was the only proof he had to remind himself that he didn’t imagine what had happened.

Walking silently behind Niles, he became more aware of the aches and bruises that were forming from the strain that his limbs had been subjected to throughout the day.  
He wanted out of this godsdamned forest, he wanted to be in his warm, safe room, and above everything, he wanted to be anywhere but walking a few feet behind the most insufferable person he had ever met in his entire life, and he could think of little else as his tired legs dragged him onward into the night.

Niles made a sharp left turn without warning, and Mathias briefly lost sight of his lantern bobbing up and down.  
The wind was picking up a bitter chill, rattling the branches above him in a haunting rhythm. He heard a twig snap ahead and quickened his pace, desperate to catch up, but unable to shake a feeling of unease.

He ducked under a fallen log and saw the light again as he stood back up, exhaling in relief. But his eye caught a trace of something just barely visible in the dim light up ahead; a shimmering purple smoke heading toward the light- and directly behind Niles.

His limbs screamed in protest as he sprinted forward, kicking over sticks and leaves as he tried in a hoarse voice to shout a warning at the retainer.

He turned around as he heard the prince make a noise behind him and grunted in surprise as Mathias tackled him to the ground. Before Niles could question his sanity, the prince unsheathed his sword and hit something in front of him that he couldn’t make out, though the sound of clashing metal was unmistakable.

He squinted his eye and looked beyond Mathias, barely catching a patch of the air in front of them that rippled and swayed unnaturally.

Mathias jumped to his feet and thrust his sword forward with all his might. For a fraction of a second, the shimmering air darkened enough for Niles to see a face seeming to cry out in pain, but no sound left its mouth as wisps of smoke left its body.

“Do you believe me now!?” he growled over his shoulder.

Niles’ eye blinked in disbelief as he instinctively drew his bow from his shoulder, and Mathias pulled his sword out of the invisible creature

“What the fuck was that thing?!” Niles blurted out.

“I don’t know what they are,” Mathias said as the creature seemed to dissolve into thin air. "I just know that they have some kind of connection to the Yato.”

“The Ya-what?”

“My giant glowing sword,” Mathias clarified quickly. He put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath.

“Right, of course, why wouldn’t they?” Niles groaned, and Mathias ignored him, panting too much to give a proper retort.

Mathias had taken care to retain a comfortable distance from Niles, which didn’t pass the archer's notice. He scratched the back of his head, looking around as if someone might overhear what he was about to say. “Look kid, I don’t say this often but I guess that I-“

Just then, another plume of smoke formed at his side, and Mathias heaved his sword inches from Niles' face, creating another sharp metallic sound.

“Hold that heartfelt apology for later so I can rub it in your face properly, Niles,” he grunted, and swiped his sword upward, purple smoke radiating from his sword. “I’d wager we have more pressing issues!”

“Noted,” Niles said and drew his bow, pointing it in front of him. “Okay kid, how the fell do I shoot these damn things if I can’t see them?”

“Look for the air near you that seems like its in the reflection of a clear pond,” Mathias replied, sidestepping and taking another swipe at the thing Niles could only assume was in front of them.

“That was beautiful and poetic and whatever, but I can’t see any change in the air if it’s too close to my face-you’ll have to give me something better to go on,” Niles said, darting his head in every direction to try and catch a glance of something.

“You can’t see what I’m talking about? It’s right in front of you!” Mathias said exasperatedly as he stabbed something to Niles’ side, and he once again saw the humanoid figure for a moment before it dissolved.

Niles pointed frustratedly at his eye patch. “Depth perception!”

“Right- sorry.” Mathias said quickly. “Then just get us out of this godsdamned forest and I’ll cover you.”

“You don’t suspect that I’ll just bolt and leave you?” Niles asked with disbelief.

Mathias shot him a venomous glare. “Well _fuck_ , Niles, I didn’t until you said that!” he said, and performed an agitated gesture with his free hand.

“Right- okay, fair enough. Follow me,” Niles ordered and pointed in the direction of the moonlight, which was barely poking through the tree cover. He grabbed his lantern from the ground and started running in that direction.

Mathias made a noise of frustration but ran after him, pushing his legs to their very limits.

“On your right!” he yelled as he saw the air start to wave behind the archer's shoulder, and Niles ducked to the left in response. The creature paused for a moment and glided toward Mathias.  
He kicked it back as hard as he could, but not far enough to keep it away for long.

Niles looked behind him and hooked the lantern onto his belt, readying his bow.

He drew an arrow back with lightning speed and aimed it next to Mathias’ face. His finger released and the arrow stopped in midair, before another humanoid figure appeared and dissolved into mist.

“How’d you-“ Mathias started.

“Lucky guess,” Niles admitted and continued running.

Niles could hear the raspy wheezing in his voice, and realized that Mathias likely hadn’t eaten since midday when his bag had been…compromised. A rare pang of guilt hit him hard in the stomach and he gave the prince a brief look of concern he hoped the prince couldn’t see in the dark.

“How much farther? I don’t know how much I have left in me, Niles," Mathias confessed from behind him as he tried to keep the outlaw’s pace.

“Just up ahead,” Niles offered over his shoulder but didn’t slow his pace.  
If he couldn’t see those things there was no way he was going to drag his feet like a sitting duck, but he did try to keep his path as easy and straightforward as he could.

Mathias nodded, and swallowed the urge to throw up a bit in his mouth as he ran forward. Gods- he was so done with this day.

Fortunately, the thick bed of dead leaves seemed to become thinner and thinner, and finally Mathias started feeling the crunch of pebbles under his feet. The cold breeze of the lake went straight through his bones and whipped his cape, and the moon shone temptingly on the boat- which had sat unmoved since the morning.

At the edge of the forest, Niles put a hand over his shoulder, his eye screwed shut in deep concentration. Mathias stopped obediently, not daring to release a breath until Niles was done doing…whatever it was he was doing.

He opened his eye again and his posture relaxed. “I can’t hear anything, I think the coast is clear. We need to get the boat before any more of those things show up.”

Mathias nodded and followed him to the edge of the water. To his surprise, his bag was there, the strap still broken but everything else completely intact, as far as he could tell.

“Don’t thank me. Didn’t want anything in there that might belong to Lord Leo lost in some godsforsaken neck of those woods,” Niles explained before Mathias could open his mouth.

Mathias gave his companion an odd look but didn’t say anything as Niles pulled the boat toward the water. He was just as impressed that Niles recognized the book in his bag as being from his brother’s absurdly vast collection as he was ticked off at him for rifling through his stuff after he was forced to leave it in the forest in a frenzy.

His gaze fell briefly to the silver reflection of the moon on the water and he sighed exhaustedly.

_You and I both know you could have left the rest of my junk, you one-eyed bastard. What’s your angle?_

Then, the crystal clear picture of the moon grew slightly warped and hazy on the water.  
Ethereal smoke was rising from the lake.

As he looked out, Mathias swore that he could make out a shadowy purple hand reaching for the nearing boat, and a face- not quite water, but not quite air rose from the part of the lake just beyond the cold rocks on the shore.

“NILES, GET AWAY FROM THE LAKE!” he shouted, and Niles reacted reflexively, lurching the boat back a few feet before backing away quickly.

“Well, thanks for the heads-up, but I’m afraid that I’m short of ideas on non-aquatic escape routes kid!” Niles replied over his shoulder.

He bared his teeth and pulled his bow back in anticipation, fixing his gaze on the lake. The smoke was spreading wide across the water touching the shore, and more hands started forming faster in either direction.

Suddenly, Mathias came to a realization.

_They come from where the water meets the land._

Mathias ran to the archer’s side. “Niles, did you bring any backup oil for that lantern?”

“A light source isn’t our number one concern right now, kid,” he responded, firing an arrow at a portion of the water with more visible smoke. A few of the surrounding hands recoiled for a moment, but their approach to their position did not stop.

“No, I have an idea. It’s kind of stupid but-“

“Get on with it then- we don’t have any options here besides climb up a tree and hope for the best, which is seeming pretty tempting with your level of confidence.”

“Would you just listen, you ass?!” Mathias barked before he continued.

Niles held his tongue, but he looked incredulous.

“They’re coming out of the shallowest part of the lake. I think if we pour a trail of that oil along the beach just far enough, we can start a fire using that tome in my bag and push the boat off as hard as we can."

“You know how to use Lord Leo's tome?” Niles asked and fired another arrow at the smoky water. Where there were previously only tips of fingers, arms were reaching out and clawing at the sandy shore.

“Yes…well, kind of,” Mathias admitted. More and more faces were turning in their direction and dragging themselves toward the land. They were running out of time. “You have a better idea?”

Niles gave him one final distrusting look and pursed his lips, but he went to the boat and pulled out Leo’s book and a few jars of black liquid. He tossed the book to Mathias before running fifty feet down from the boat and started pouring the lantern oil in a steady stream into the water.

The oil started coating the water and seeping into the bodies steadily forming. The black liquid revealed their heads coming out of the water, faces as stony and expressionless as statues.

Mathias flipped frantically through the tome, trying to find a page in the book where he could understand at least two or three words to string together to spark a big enough flame.

_C’mon, c’mon…Lux- light. I know light. Light, what? Light, fill? Light, ignite? Shit._

Niles threw an empty jar to the side and started pouring the other one on the other side of the boat. A hand reached out and grabbed his ankle and the jar slipped out of his hand.

“Piss!” Niles cursed and yanked his foot away. “This is as good as it’s going to get kid, we gotta get out of here!” he shouted as he backed up.

“Lux Ignis!” A few errant sparks danced around Mathias' fingers but quickly fizzled out. A bead of sweat rolled down the prince’s forehead and a familiar twisting in his stomach rose to his throat.

The figures were at shoulder length now, their opaque bodies coated with a thin film of oil. They directed their gaze at the Yato at Mathias’ side and started walking toward him.

His eyes darted over the open page, scanning for something, anything.

“We have to go now, kid! Get in the boat!” Niles yelled as he ran past him and pushed the boat toward the grasping figures, looking over his shoulder with uncertainty. His face showed a hint of fear in his eye Mathias didn’t think he was supposed to see.

_Wait._

_Show, project, manifest, that’s what I’m missing!_

One of them started climbing into the boat, and Niles drew his boot knife, slashing at its face, but the blade passed through it like there was nothing there.

“LUX IGNIS EXTO!” Mathias screamed at the top of his lungs, and fire fanned out in columns from his fingertips. Barely controlling the magic enough to point where he needed it, beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and collected at the tip of his nose.

The column of flame caught on the oily water and shot down the beach, the force of the heat blasting the sticky hair back from his forehead.

“Gogogogo!” Niles barked as he gave the boat the final push into the water.

Mathias forced the book shut and ran to the wall of fire. He took a running leap, and flames licked wickedly at his legs as he went through the air. He landed ungracefully in the boat and nearly tipped the entire thing over, if Niles hadn’t been leaning in the opposite direction in anticipation.

They kept low, and Mathias was gripping the sides of the boat as he stared at the orange and red glow reflecting on the lake surface. He waited for something to jump in the boat or grab his hand.

But nothing happened, and he loosened his hold slightly, looking over at Niles.

The man was rowing at an impressive speed, and the only break in the water that Mathias could see around him was rippling from the boat moving swiftly through the water.

“You think we’re good?” Mathias asked cautiously.

“Literally can’t see those things to save my life but as near as I can tell? We’re good."

“Oh thank the Divine Dragon,” Mathias exhaled. The knot in his throat finally found its way to his mouth, and he promptly vomited over the boat, though there was little in his stomach besides bile and water.

“Yeah, milord! Stick it to those watery freaks one last time,” Niles said, clapping him on the back.

Mathias weakly reached his arm behind him and flipped the other man off, though his face was still hanging over the edge of the boat. He spat up a couple more times and lifted his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Niles looking at him with mild pity.

It was hard looking regal and threatening when you smelled like lighter fluid and looked as if you hadn’t slept in a week, but they still had unfinished business, and Mathias had just enough spite in him to keep Niles captive until he properly apologized. It wasn't like he could avoid the only other person in a tiny boat.

He turned around and sat up, still hunkered over slightly, but at eye level with the man rowing on the other side of the boat. “Alright, Niles. I’ve a bone to pick with you,” he accused, pointing a finger. He was expecting a quip back and some sort of verbal challenge, but Niles said nothing in response.

It felt out of place, to say the least.

“We’ve still got a good twenty minutes before we get back to the castle- and even if you pretend you won’t listen I know you have literally nothing to do right now, so lets have another waterside heart-to-heart, shall we?"

Niles looked like he was trying to pretend he didn’t know what the prince was talking about, and doing a pretty poor job of it. Come to think of it, Niles had been giving him strange looks since he had pushed Niles out of the way of getting invisibly shafted.  
Was the man actually grappling with his conscience?

The thought was ludicrous, but he had certainly seen stranger things. Just in the last twelve hours, in fact.  
Either way, Mathias doubted he’d get another chance to tear him a new one.

“In fairness, I already tried to apologize for not believing you,” Niles muttered.

“Oh no. You’re not getting off that easy,” Mathias rebuked. “I’ve been putting up with your shit for far too long. My brother told me you don’t get personal, and I’m starting to think he was wrong. You have been stringing me out for _months_ , Niles. Don’t deny it.”

“That seems like an overstatem-“

Mathias inhaled sharply. “I’m not finished. I let it slide for so long because it seemed inappropriate to wave my 'superior officer flag' over my head as soon as I didn’t get along with someone. In case you can’t tell, it doesn’t happen often,” he added. “And hey, maybe a part of me was like ‘this guy, as much as I don’t want to admit it, has some really valid points about my work ethic’, and I really tried not to take it personally. But oh no, I was so wrong. I’ll give it to you- you’re very good at personal because you were grating at me, boring into my brain like some sort of sick parasite, and I could _just fucking tell_ that was what your intent was, and damn if you’re not good at it,” Mathias said, pausing to breath.

Niles looked away from the ranting prince, but Mathias caught him smirking ever-so-slightly before glancing away, which just riled him up more. “But here’s where I draw the line- you want to know where I draw the line?”

“Not really-“

“Great, I’ll tell you,” Mathias interrupted. "I draw the line when your caricature of me as a pompous, sheltered noble, which _admittedly_ has some merit, takes priority in your twisted mind over the fact that I am your commander- and when I say there are magic ghosts trying to kill us, odds are, there are magic. freaking. water ghosts. trying to stab at us in the dark!” Mathias yelled, throwing his arms up in the air with enough gravitas to shake the boat.

“Are you done?” Niles asked, cautious, but clearly still somewhat amused.

“Almost. I had a point.” he was quickly losing steam, but he wasn’t finished yet, dammit. “My point is that if you can’t distinguish Mathias the babbling idiot from Mathias the guy who’s leading the Nohrian army for better or worse, then just tell me now, because I really, _really_ don’t have the wherewithal to play your mind games, Niles, and as much as I don’t want to, I can and will put my foot down.” Mathias looked back at Niles. That infuriating expression was still on his face, but the retainer didn’t seem to be aware that he was rowing considerably slower than before.

“Okay I’m done,” Mathias finally said.

Niles was still unreadable as ever, but something in his demeanor changed slightly, almost slightly less distant than usual. He laughed half-heartedly and smirked. “I feel like a kid getting slapped on the wrist,” he said finally, as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

“Good.” Mathias responded petulantly.

“Well, this little dance was fun while it lasted, milord. Had to end someday, right?”

Mathias instinctively raised a finger to start objecting, but he internalized what Niles had said and lowered his hand. “Wait…really?”

Niles shrugged. “Really. Frankly, I was waiting for you to put your royal foot down, Anything else just seemed like an empty threat.”

_Gods, I will never understand this man’s logic._

“Well, uh...I’m glad we’re on the same page in regards to this matter then,” Mathias said. He honestly didn’t think he would get this far, and was racking his brains for how to respond next.

Niles nodded. “I believe so. I’ll tell Lord Leo that this experiment didn’t work as soon as we dock and you won’t see hide nor hair of me until you need me to shoot at filthy Hoshidan scum or whatever.”

Mathias blinked a couple of times. “Wait- that’s not what I said. I still need training.”

Niles looked annoyed and started rowing at a steady pace once more. “Oh no. That’s not how this works. Look for another person, because I can’t train you.” He gestured up and down his body. "Either you get the whole asshole or none at all. I don’t do just the tip."

Mathias scowled and wrinkled his nose. “Gross, Niles.”

The man really found the worst times to be crass.

“My point stands. And really, it’s fine by me. I can think of at least a thousand different ways I would rather spend my time than serving you with a smile,” Niles said definitively and looked back out at the lake.

_I don’t believe for a second that he would so eagerly go back on one of my brother’s orders. He’s not telling me something._

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” Mathias ventured.

Niles’ grip tightened on the oars and his eyebrow twitched for a moment, but otherwise his expression remained unchanged. “Beg pardon?”

“You heard me just fine, Niles. I don’t believe that my words would be a good enough reason for you to admit to Leo that you failed.”

“You made your point, now stop trying to mess with me kid. You're not going to get anywhere you like,” Niles said threateningly.

“I’m not trying to-“ Mathias stopped himself and laughed dryly as he rubbed his temples. “Gods, everything is a game with you, isn’t it?”

“Why else would you be trying to egg me on?” Niles spat back. "My relationship with my employer is none of your concern.”

“Uh, he’s my brother, I don’t think asking some basic questions is totally out of line.”

“Lord Leo is my top priority. That’s all you need to know to rest easy on his behalf. And now that I’ve received your official blessing to not give two shits about you, I can focus on protecting him from anything...unexpected that comes along,” Niles answered curtly, but there was a troubled look in his eye that Mathias could just barely make out as he turned his head to the lake once again.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. “Oh my gods, you’re scared, aren’t you?”

Niles rolled his eye, but his lip curled enough to give him away. “Don’t be ridiculous, kid. Just because you’re a weeping pansy doesn’t mean we all are,” he snapped.

“Gee, thanks,” Mathias responded reflexively, but then paused to think over his approach for a moment. “Niles, you can’t expect that you’d be completely prepared to fight everything that comes your way. I don’t know much about your life, but somehow I doubt that the slums could have prepared you for something like that,” he said, gesturing to the glowing fire that was shrinking farther and farther into the darkness.

Niles stopped rowing and narrowed his eye. “Actually, prince, ‘ _that_ ’, is exactly what I am expected to be prepared for. Anything, at any time. And out there, if Lord Leo has the chance to see what I can’t, it’s too late. I’m done and he’s dead. I don’t have the luxury of shrugging this one off.” His voice was seething, but he almost seemed angrier at himself than he was at Mathias.

“Leo has two retainers, you know,” Mathias offered in response.

He scoffed. “What- and I just ask Odin to politely point me in the direction of the next thing to kill while I squint like a one-eyed idiot, looking for invisible swords? Lord Leo would be better off getting rid of me and just investing in some thicker armor at that point,” he said flatly.

“I don’t think-“

“We’re done talking about this, kid,” he warned, but there was a heaviness woven in the hollow tone of his voice. Mathias bit his lip, but said nothing else.

With the wildfire far behind them now, the moon was the only thing illuminating Niles’ face. The bored, nonchalant expressions he frequented around others were gone, and something told Mathias that this is what he looked like at night, behind closed doors. The dim light drew highlights on the lines of worry on his face that framed strikingly handsome features Mathias had never really noticed in detail.

Niles seemed not to know that Mathias was quietly watching him stare unblinkingly at the lake. He was miles away as he barely parted his lips, and he whispered something that Mathias almost didn’t hear:

“ _This is all that I have._ "

Mathias stayed silent, wondering if he had even heard Niles right. It made something pull hard at his chest for reasons he couldn’t quite understand, but he decided that he just had to pretend that he didn’t catch what the retainer had said. He couldn’t bring himself to press the man further after seeing such a singular glimpse of raw sincerity from him.

The only thing Mathias could think to do then was look away and place his hands in his lap.

Finally, the docks came into view and Niles shook off whatever trance he was under, placing his focus on the oars.  
Nothing could have given Mathias more joy than the sight of his treehouse perched invitingly between the canals, and he had wanted nothing more than to crawl under his bed since he had been awakened by Niles and Odin that morning.  
It seemed like months ago now, and he thanked the gods for getting him back there in once piece.

For the sake of discretion, he hoped that Leo had called off the night watch patrol for their return, or at least designated the task for Odin. He suspected, however, that with the two of them missing for so long, and a massive, distant fire visible from the lookout tower, they would be getting grilled pretty vigorously by someone before they could part ways.

S _o much for subtlety while we train._

Niles dug a rope out from the bottom of the boat without a word and prepared them to land, and sure enough Mathias could already see someone holding a torch at the docks.

But he just couldn’t leave Niles for the night without saying something.

“Before we go,“ Mathias said hesitantly, and Niles turned his whole body around to face him, coiling the rope slowly around his arm as he waited for him to continue. He looked almost as tired as Mathias did.  
The prince looked at him intensely and cleared his throat. “You’re not failing Leo. And...as much as I want to punch you sometimes, you will always have a place here, with us. I hope you know that."

Niles stared back at him, conflict and confusion dancing behind his dark blue eye. Then against all odds, he genuinely smiled, just for a moment, but it was enough.  
He chuckled softly and shook his head. “You’re a sap,” he said finally, but there wasn’t a hint of vitriol in his words.

Mathias coughed awkwardly, now slightly embarrassed at his outburst of brazen candor and decided to take a sudden and intense interest in gathering his things.

To Mathias’ relief, the figure at the dock was Odin, and he waved his torch vigorously as though Niles and Mathias would not be able to spot him on the otherwise dark castle grounds. Mathias waved back in acknowledgement and Niles gave him a half-hearted salute as their boat pulled in to the dock.

"Lord Mathias, I’m sorry for-" Niles started, but quickly cut off as he noticed that his fellow retainer was almost within earshot, and grinned weakly. “Well, for what it’s worth, you passed the test."

As Niles stepped out of the boat, Mathias wondered which test he was really referring to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Put these boys in a crockpot and let them simmer while you're at work all day because this is a slooooooow burn, my dudes. 
> 
> I'm pretty satisfied with how this has turned out so far, but I have a lot of planning to do for the next few chapters, though I have the basic outline of the fic laid out pretty clearly. Other than that, who knows???? (I should probably know. crap.)
> 
> Anyhow, as always, thanks for sticking with me. If anything seemed off or confusing, feel free to tell me, as I know the last half was pretty dialogue-heavy.
> 
> Take care!


End file.
